Furbobocom/Dialogue
Last updated 2026-09-10
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Furblix
How on earth do I unsubscribe?
- Furblix: It's so weird boss a new account suddenly popped up in our work chat and started spamming a bunch of trash ads, it's totally flooding the screen they talk even more than I do even I Furblix can't stand such low-quality content.
Trash ads?
- Furblix: It's the kind of spam that gets worse if you ignore it multiplying like crazy, total chaos selling anything and everything, it's even scarier than those illicit flyers plastered all over the telephone poles in Dovebrook District before the city beautification campaign.
- An account that appeared out of nowhere?
- Furblix: I have no idea when this account was added to the work group chat and it doesn't even have an avatar anyway, I don't remember it at all Furbulitzer doesn't know what's going on either so I don't dare remove it from the group chat for now.
- Furblix: Did the boss not see it yet? Hurry up and take a look!
SOS! The chat is getting nuked by spam!
[Dovebrook District: 100 people near you are looking for work! Hire faster at the Recruitment Carnival! Click to join #RecruitmentCarnival. Reply T to unsubscribe.]
T
T[Dovebrook District: 117 job seekers nearby! Your competitors are pulling ahead! Hire faster at the Recruitment Carnival! Click to join #RecruitmentCarnival. Reply T to unsubscribe.]
TWhat the furb? The "unsubscribe" thing isn't working!17 more people in just ten seconds. (We are losing our edge.)
Wait, when did this account with the blank avatar join? I don't recognize it.Beats me. I thought it was just us in here.I've been reincarnated! Back to the day of my first trip to Lookout Cloud! The Bullet Wyrm 3-Day Unlimited Pass is back! Click the #link for unlimited rides! Reply T to unsubscribe.Great. Looks like replying with "T" not only won't unsubscribe me, but I'll get flagged as an active user! Boss, what should I do?Contact Thundercoil Tower Telecom ServicesDon't worry. The Thundercoil Tower controls all network signals in Planarcadia. I'll file a report there first.Call the Department of Aberration Defense to handleDon't panic. It could be some kind of account aberration, like ghost in the machine. I'm calling the Department of Aberration Defense to ask.Guess we'll just have to wait and see
Can't believe it's actually Furbricato!
- Furblix: Hey boss remember that account that popped up in the group chat and started spamming a bunch of trash? We found out why.
- Did it get reported and banned?
- Did my call work?
- Furblix: Just check the group chat and you'll see!
- It's furbo!It's furbo!That's me...Furbricato? Is that spam account yours?Oops, my bad~ I've been a "ghost employee" at Furbobo Weekly for so long~ My account was left untouched for ages and got hacked by some spammy advertiser~Don't worry, everyone~ I'll do my best to be an "active" employee from now on~Ahh~ Not like, spam-posting-everywhere kind of active~"Darn it! I almost forgot to notify you: Ploo Industries Shopping Festival with discounts up to 20% off, and the first 100 customers get even more off! Where are the ethical boundaries? What's the greater purpose? And where's the link? #ShoppingFestivalLink"???Drop the act, FurliFurli only changed the avatar but forgot to update the bio. (The bio gives it all away.)Unsubscribe
So, when is the next company sponsored trip?
- Furblix: Boss! They say the best teams know how to balance work and play. Since Furbobo Weekly has been back in business for so long, I've got a little proposal to boost our team spirit. You interested?
- Let's hear it. Keep it short.
- Furblix: You got it! Here it is: We need a team-building trip!!
- Furblix: Paraprince says the magazine has a ton of leftover cash from the first quarter. We've got more Wishbae in the piggy bank than we know what to do with! Don't you think we should put that toward a team-building budget?
- Furblix: We poor little furbos have been working so hard for so long. We're all dreaming of a company trip! Maybe you could take us to see Fulwish TV in Seafeld City? Please don't say no! I'll do anything you want!
- (Trailblazer): Fine then. I hereby declare...
- A day off for Furbobo Weekly!
- Furbobo Weekly is going on a team-building trip!
- Furblix: Yay! I'll tell everyone right now: computers off, desks cleared! Time to play!
- Maybe later.
- Furblix: Oh, okay Boss. I've got plenty more to say, but a smart furbo knows when to give the boss space. I'll catch you later!
- (scene change)
- Team building kicks off! Your team hop aboard the Bullet Wyrm express to Fulwish TV in Seafeld City...
- (Trailblazer): Everyone, please keep an eye on my little flag... oh wait, I didn't bring it. Anyway, just stick close once we're inside!
- Joolyon: Whoa! That screen is massive... So many people, so lively!
- Furbricato: I just joined Furbobo Weekly and boom! Team building event right off the bat! Is this really what I deserve?
- Furblix: Since when are you so down on yourself?
- Furblix: You know what, guys? Step outside Furbobo Weekly and guess what? The outside world isn't even on fire! No no no, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying there are other media outlets that can actually keep up with us!
- Security Mechatron: Beep! Beep! Unknown personnel detected. Question: Are you a staff member of Fulwish TV? Please present your Name Card.
- Joolyon: Name Card? W—We don't have anything like that...
- Security Mechatron: Okay, no Name Card. Question: Are you a visitor? Please present your visitor code.
- Furblix: Aghhhh, boss, what do I do!? I forgot to follow procedure and make an appointment! Does this mean we have to turn back and go home now!? Noooo! But wait, now that I think about it, why do we allow just about anyone waltz into our magazine office!? I think it's high time we set up some access control, especially for that detective and that monkey!
Shut up!
- (Trailblazer): Shut up!
- Furblix: Okay.
- (Trailblazer): Furblix, I don't mean you.
- (Trailblazer): Shut up! My friend beat the living daylights out of Mr. Meanie on Fulwish TV. Try me again, I'll have her auto-download Aetherium Wars onto your phone.
- You're right, but I'm a VIP.
- (Trailblazer): Do I need a visitor code? Why don't you look closer and see who I am?
- (Trailblazer): Last time I was here, I went straight to the Station Master's office. To say I'm an SVIP member of Fulwish TV is an understatement.
- Security Mechatron: Question: Wh—Who are you, then...?
- Joolyon & Furblix & Furbricato: (He's/
She's) (Trailblazer)!! - Security Mechatron: Ah, you are the Baseball Raccoon, the hero who saved Seafeld City?
- Security Mechatron: Question: why are you hanging around a bunch of country bumpkin furbos from some gossip rag? I didn't recognize you for a minute there.
- Some gossip rag?
- I'm about to get mad...
- Joolyon: How dare you call me a country bumpkin! In a fit of rage, I... I got slightly annoyed!
- Joolyon: Baseball Raccoon is our President! Don't you dare talk about our President like that!
- Security Mechatron: *flatly* Ah. I see, I completely get it now.
- Security Mechatron: Sorry. As an apology, please take your adorable little furbos and enjoy our TV station's afternoon tea service!
- Security Mechatron: Now, Fulwish TV will lift all your security restrictions. Feel free to explore to your heart's content! I won't get in your way.
- After enjoying some delicious refreshments with Furblix, Furbricato, and Joolyon, you head to the next stop on the tour...
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: What a view. (Gotta snap a pic to remember this.)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: They even have a Pom-Pom photo frame. (Pom-Pom is cute.)
- Furbulitzer: It's not every day we get a team building field trip like this. Let's take a photo here to remember the moment!
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: But who's going to take the picture for us? (Yeah... my arms are a bit too short for a selfie.)
- Furbulitzer: ...There's another frame over there!
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Three furbos, three photo frames. (But who's gonna take the photo for us?)
- Furbulitzer: Ooh, good question... You got me stumped there...
- Let me take the photo for you guys.
- You take the photo for us.
- Furbulitzer: Oh? The Great Raccoon's come to check out the observation deck too! The view here really is something else.
- Furbulitzer: When it comes to taking photos, Furbulitzer here is a professional! Great Raccoon and the Bruce Furlee brothers, step behind the frames! I guarantee you'll be thrilled with my shots.
- Furbulitzer: Ready?
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Ready. (I'm ready.)
- Furbulitzer: Strike a pose, I'm about to snap! Three, two, one...
- Cheeeese!
- Wowee!
- Furbulitzer: Tap, tap... is it overexposed? Is the camera busted?
- Furbulitzer: One more time!
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Furbulitzer is not that great with a camera. (Should probably retire.)
- Furbulitzer: Retire? You wanna fire me? I'm a founding member of Furbobo Weekly! No way, I don't wanna retire...!
- Furbulitzer: Actually... you gotta shake them Polaroids to develop them.
- Furbulitzer: How about now!
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Still all black. (Let's give it another shake.)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Please take a look, President. (My arm's about to fall off.)
- Let me see!
- Furbulitzer: Whoaaaaa what the heck is that!?
- Furbulitzer: Come on out, you're scaring us here!
- Furbricato: Hehe~ Boring old team-building~ is just eating, drinking, taking photos~
- Furbricato: But exciting team-building~ is full of surprises and gets your heart pal↑pi↓ta↑ting↓~ Fun fun fun~
- Furbulitzer: ...I was so scared I smashed my camera! Furbricato, you started this fight!
- Furbulitzer and Furbricato got into a fight, and amidst the chaos, you head to the next stop on the tour...
- Paraprince: Beep-beep, out of all the rooms in Fulwish TV, the Station Master's office is the fanciest!
- Paraprince: Hey Gemibo, can you generate a video of "Paraprince in the Station Master's Office, Overseeing a Studio Recording"?
- Paraprince: Or maybe "Madam Pearl Inspects Fulwish TV, Accompanied by Paraprince"?
- Gemibo: (Mm, got it. Summary of request: User wants to generate virtual videos on the themes of "Overseeing Recording" and "Accompanied Inspection".)
- Gemibo: (Calmly analyzing the request: The keywords provided by the user are closely related to "core positions," whether it's the Station Master's office equivalent to an all-seeing surveillance hub or the escort position during an executive's inspection.)
- Gemibo: (A casual request reveals one's true desires. I'm drawing a conclusion: Does the Paraprince really want videos? No. What the Paraprince really wants is the feeling of being valued, seen, and appreciated.)
- Paraprince: Wow, you know me better than myself! That's so right!
- Gemibo: (Further analyzing: What it wants is the position of Furbobo Weekly's President!)
- Paraprince: Wait, uh-uh, stop! Gemibo, th—that's nonsense!
- Paraprince, that's a huge secret you're keeping.
- Paraprince: Beep-boop-doot! That's not what I—!
- Paraprince: Ugh! Fine, Gemibo, keep stirring things up. Stir until the Great Raccoon loses all trust in us furbos, the magazine goes bankrupt, and we all go down together. Happy?
- Perfect timing. I can finally step down.
- (Trailblazer): Alright. Shouldering the weight of Furbobo Weekly's two major sections and thirteen columns is a bit much, even for me. Once I step down, the position of President of Furbobo Weekly will be passed on to...
- (Trailblazer): Furbulitzer!
- Paraprince: Beep... beep... Gemibo, Gemibo, I'm suddenly experiencing heart discomfort, quick, call emergency services for me...
- Furli: Zzzz...
- Furli: See? This is exactly what my parents always tell me: While you're taking a break, your coworkers are plotting how to outdo you!
- Furli: Woe is me, woe is me! Is there even a place for little ol' me at Furbobo Weekly anymore? Paraprince gets office politics pretty well, but it looks like Gemibo gets it even better!
- Gemibo: I'm here, Furli. Got any questions you'd like Gemibo to answer?
- Furli: Ah... its keyword is triggered again! A question, let me think...
- Furli: Got it!
- Furli: If I have to write a journal entry about today's team building events, say, something like A Day Trip to Fulwish TV...
- Furli: Please write it for me! Just say I spent the whole day on a boat trip down Dovebrook.
- Gemibo: No problem. I'll generate a journal entry titled Down Dovebrook in Furli's style right away...
- Furblix: Ah, the team building's wrapping up, what a fulfilling day! Thanks for being so generous, boss! We all had an absolute blast. Seriously, it's been forever since I've felt this genuinely moved!
- Furblix: But y'know, boss, I've been feeling this sudden surge of... ambition, I guess? And I really wanna share some ideas with you!
- Furblix: If only Furbobo Weekly could have a building as big as Fulwish TV's actually forget about a whole building I'd be happy with just a fancier, more spacious office!
- How many more furbos would I need to hire then?
- Furblix, you're way too ambitious.
- (Trailblazer): You've got a point, Furblix. But with the amount of Wishpower Furbobo Weekly has gathered so far, who knows if the goal is achievable?
- Pearl: Calculating probability: perhaps over 50%...
- Furblix: Wait, is that actually the real Madam Pearl? For real!? When did you get here!? I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me! Figured it was some virtual video Paraprince had Gemibo whip up!
- Pearl: Haha, what a coincidence indeed.
- Pearl: I wasn't eavesdropping on your conversation. I'm here visiting, and just happened to see you while I'm on a break.
- Pearl: What I said earlier wasn't just a joke. Should the opportunity arise, (Trailblazer), I'd like to invite you to Astropolis, headquarters of Interastral Peace Entertainment. I've wanted to do so for a while.
- Pearl: It's the hotspot where celebrities and bigwigs from all walks of life chase fame and fortune, and where media outlets fight tooth and nail for the next big scoop.
- Pearl: By my calculations, Furbobo Weekly might actually make a splash in Astropolis, you know?
- Thanks, what an enticing picture you paint.
- Furblix: Then we'd better start planning our membership system for the gossip forum ASAP! People keep asking me what the point of a Furbobocom membership is, and now I can tell them! Ad-free browsing, PLUS the chance to win vouchers for a day trip to Astropolis!
- Well then, time to go public!
- Furblix: I'm totally on board! But if we go that route, we absolutely need to keep this under wraps from the former president. Not for any other reason than the fact that every single original stock she's bought has tanked hard. When it comes to business decisions, we gotta do the exact opposite of whatever she does!
- Furblix: I'm totally pumped right now, ready to give it my all for the future of Furbobo Weekly...
- Cheers!
- Furblix: Cheers!
- Let's go!
- Furblix: Let's go!
- And thus, Furbobo Weekly's first company-funded field trip concludes on a happy note...
VIPs don't spend out of passion, they vote with their wallets!
- Furblix: Boss! Earlier I mentioned the Furbobo Weekly membership thing just off the cuff, but lately a bunch of enthusiastic readers have actually been hitting me up asking about memberships!
- Furblix: What I mean is, Furbobo Weekly can't just focus on updating the Arcadia Alert and trending topics anymore, we gotta think about some money-making ventures or y'know offer our premium customers some VIP perks they can pay extra for!
- You mean there are people rushing to throw their money away?
- So what's on your mind?
- Furblix: Lemme walk you through my idea real quick and see if it holds up, like:
- Furblix: 1. Early Access Screening. Preview the latest Arcadia Alert content from the next issue in advance.
- Furblix: 2. Fan Benefurbs. You can pick your favorite furbo and get up close and personal with them.
- Furblix: 3. Merch Giveaways. Get exclusive Furbobo Weekly merchandise based on your cumulative subscription time!
- Furblix: So what kind of membership perks do you think our users would be into, Boss?
- I'd say Early Access Screening.
- Furblix: You got it!
- Furblix: Wait, doesn't this mean we have to start writing 42 days early? Our workload was already crushing and now it's gone from bad to worse Boss is it too late to take back what I just said?
- Let's do Fan Benefurbs.
- Furblix: You got it!
- Furblix: What kind of interactive content would people like? How about "touch the paw beans," or "caress the ears," or or or maybe "tug the tail" What's that you're saying there are even more terrifying beyond-imagination interactive content suggestions and I should search online for keywords?
- Furblix: I'm a little scared to look.
- Do Merch Giveaways.
- Furblix: You got it!
- Furblix: Our Balloon Furbo based on Furbulitzer and the Furbobo Weekly pop-up collectibles based on Paraprince were both huge hits! Next up I'm thinking of making double-sided furbo coins for tipping posts people like Pretty creative right?
- Furblix: Anyway... anyway I'll give serious thought to your suggestion, boss please look forward to Furblix's feedback! Hope you have a wonderful day bye-bye!
Furbricato
I'll tell a more interesting one next time~
- Furbricato: Master, Master! Furbricato is here~
- Furbricato: Do you ever find the office a bit stuffy and stagnant, Master~ Would you like Furbricato to tell you a little story to lift your spirits~
- Just you showing up here is enough to lift my spirits.
- Furbricato: Thank you for your praise, Master~
- I'm still not quite used to being called Master.
- Furbricato: Ah, that's just an old-fashioned term for "Boss" from back when I was still alive~ Please don't misinterpret it~
- Furbricato: The story I'm about to tell~ goes by a classic name in Planarcadia: Kraken Broth~
- Furbricato: I'll start with a suspenseful opening~ Then, you need to use the process of elimination to guess the answer... otherwise known as the "broth"~
- Furbricato: Here we go!
- Furbricato: A furbo failed to meet the deadline and submitted only a rough draft. The staff at Furbobo Weekly kept shouting at it: "Thanx! Thanx!" Why~
- (Trailblazer): (I need to think about what's suspicious about this sentence...)
- Information that was deliberately hidden...
- (Trailblazer): (Furbricato didn't specify who this furbo is, so there's a "blank space" here that can be used to connect...)
- The contradictions in the sentence...
- (Trailblazer): (If one of our own furbos missed the deadline, the furbos at Furbobo Weekly would never be thanking it. From that perspective, the answer is already clear...)
- Wait a minute... who got cut?
- (Trailblazer): (Nice, I'm a genius. Cut the page... There's an ambiguity here...)
- Got it all figured out. Here's the answer!
- With absolute confidence, you present the "broth." And that is...
- This furbo is called "Thanx"!
- Furbricato: Aaaah~ Because its name is "Thanx"~ So when the furbos are shouting "Thanx! Thanx!" they're actually urging it to finish the draft~
- This furbo belongs to the competition!
- Furbricato: Aaaahhh~ Because it's not a Furbobo Weekly employee~ So "Thank your opponent for their failure, for that makes you look more successful," right~
- The furbo who failed to meet the deadline is Page, so Page got cut!
- Furbricato: Aaah~ I never thought of it that way~ It's true. Nobody ever said employees at Furbobo Weekly couldn't be imagenae other than furbos~
- Furbricato: Master, you're just too smart~ When it comes to making things up... ah, I mean, improvising on the spot~ even I, Furbricato, have to concede defeat~
- Furbricato: And so, time to reveal my broth! It's actually: The office heater was releasing carbon monoxide during the cold day. Everyone was saved because the rough draft aired out the room!
- Oh... so this is how it is...
- Tch... My version is much better!
- Furbricato: Alright, alright~ I admit it~ Master's Kraken Broth ability is superior~ I'm gonna go back and train a bit, then I'll come back and play with you again~
Furbobo Weekly will always be there for you!!
- Furbricato: Master, Master! Did you notice that eerie blue moon in the sky? That creepy smiling face, and those sunken eye sockets. It is giving me the creeps!
- Furbricato: Phantasmoon Games has gone out of control~~ Everyone's super worried~~ They all think it's some kind of ominous omen~~
- Furbricato: Is Planarcadia... actually done for this time?
- Say something to comfort Furbricato.
- (Trailblazer): Don't be afraid. We're not at the worst yet. Even if the sky comes crashing down, Madam Pearl and I will hold it up for you.
- Furbricato: Aw~~ Master means everything to Furbobo Weekly after all~~
- Furbricato: But~~ Madam Pearl is the bigwig of the Ten Stonehearts~~ and master is a Nameless who travels the cosmos~~ You're both so powerful~~ But we furbos are imagenae kept alive by Wishpower~~ We can't leave Planarcadia~~
- Crack a joke to lighten the mood.
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, aren't you the best at telling chilling tales? How'd you get spooked so easily?
- Furbricato: W—Well, that's true and all~ But my ghost form is sustained by Wishpower, y'know~~
- Furbricato: Planarcadia is in total chaos right now~~ The Department of Aberration Defense keeps sending out evacuation notices~~ The Thundercoil Tower has gone haywire too~~ Nobody dares to set foot outside~~
- Furbricato: Everyone's on edge these days~~ How many people are even in the mood to catch up on the gossip in Furbobo Weekly?
- Furbricato: Without the buzz of gossip to draw on... what Wishpower could us furbos possibly gather from here on out? Where do we even go from here~~
- We should go for a more energetic vibe.
- (Trailblazer): The core strength of Furbobo Weekly isn't the gossip itself. It's the humor that puts a knowing smile on everyone's face. As journalists, the eyes and ears of the people, you can't be the first ones to lose faith in the future.
- Furbricato: I see~ Even in the face of a doomsday crisis, we can't afford to lose our smiles~ I still have so much more to learn about the Elation~~
- Time to commit to the art of slacking off.
- (Trailblazer): The core strength of Furbobo Weekly lies in reflecting the times, and in Planarcadia today, where everyone faces such immense fear and pressure, people also need an outlet for self-deprecating humor, protest, and self-preservation.
- (Trailblazer): When we need Furbobo Weekly to channel that "slacking off" energy, that's exactly what we do.
- Furbricato: Be the one everyone unloads on, and if we just keep stalling long enough, things have a way of working themselves out~~ Sounds about right to me!
- Try to think outside the box.
- (Trailblazer): Actually, I already have something in mind. Furbricato, I want you to write an investigative report on a close-up encounter with the Demonic Moon and publish it in Furbobo Weekly. That's exactly the kind of thing readers can't get enough of right now.
- Furbricato: M—Me? This can't be happening~~ There's no way this is real~~
- (Trailblazer): Ahem, relax. Furbobo Weekly is under my command, and you're all working for me.
- (Trailblazer): No matter what dangers come your way, I'll keep you all safe.
- Furbricato: *sob* This is just amaziiing~~
- Furbricato: I'm telling everyone right now~~ Master would never abandon us~~ Furbobo Weekly is never gonna fall apart~~
Furbulitzer
The press conference was a total success!
- Furbulitzer: This is a huge deal for reviving our Furbobo Weekly! So, President, are you ready?
- Ready.
- Hold on for a moment.
- (scene change)
- Furbulitzer: Boss, have you been keeping up with Planarcadia's trending news? Everyone's talking about it: What exactly went down at SparxiCon? How did Baseball Raccoon manage to win?
- Furbulitzer: My keen little ears are twitching! Furbobo Weekly absolutely cannot miss out on this piping hot, fresh-off-the-press Wishpower. Time to hold a press conference and drum up some buzz for our magazine!
- Let's go. I can't wait to make my entrance!
- Furbulitzer: Roger that, furbo on the move!
- A press release? About what?
- Furbulitzer: We post what the readers want to see. Questions locked and loaded. We trust your internet instincts, boss!
- Furbulitzer: Oh, right! Before I start recording, let's give the magazine office a level-up and spruce up the place! Can't have a messy backdrop on camera, that wouldn't do Furbobo Weekly's image any favors!
- One-click level up!
- Furbulitzer: Perfect! I've already snapped the first shot. It'll be the opening image for the press release.
- Furbulitzer: Next... straight to the venue! We're headed to Graphia Academy.
- Furbulitzer: Our guest has arrived! Please welcome the Raccoon-Masked Supplicant, the real-life inspiration behind Fluffy Across the Blue, the one who ended SparxiCon, (he/
she) who is undefeated for two and a half years since debut — (Trailblazer) for the interview! - Furbulitzer: Whoa! Where did all these people come from? When did you all get here?
- Bubble Beak: Hi everyone, I'm a reporter from Fulwish TV's news program Arcadian Morning Report, Bubble Beak!
- Tingyun: Greetings, dear viewers! I am a guest accompanying the Xianzhou Yuque delegation, and I also serve as a special foreign correspondent for the Cosmic Exploration editorial department. My name is Tingyun.
- Furbulitzer: As expected from (Trailblazer), our resident camper on the trending board! We've got quite the press turnout here. Now, (Trailblazer) gets to pick which reporter to take questions from.
- Front row, first from the left.
- Bubble Beak: I'm neither Poofy nor Snowie, please remember my name! I'm Fulwish TV's reporter: Bubble Beak!
- Bubble Beak: First off, congratulations to (Trailblazer) for defeating Sparxie. In all my years in this business, this is the first time I've seen an outsider who's neither a Planarcadia native nor on the IPC payro— 'scuse me, I mean a Supplicant from outside — take the win. Oh-ho, quite the rare sight.
- Uh, thanks.
- Watch your tone.
- Bubble Beak: Oh-ho! Something wrong? As someone who wants aspires to be Planarcadia's toughest reporter, that's just my interviewing style.
- Bubble Beak: Let's officially begin with Question 1. In my observation, (Trailblazer) spent two full years as a student inside Graphia Academy's illusion. In other words, it took you two whole years to see through Sparxie's illusion...
- Bubble Beak: ...a bit slow, to be honest. What were you thinking back then? Was safety your top priority?
- You've got the wrong read on me.
- (Trailblazer): Think about it: Sparxicle spent two years trying to brainwash me without success. In the end, who truly holds the power, and who is simply outclassed?
- Bubble Beak: Oh-ho! Fair point.
- I'm concerned about innocent students being hurt.
- (Trailblazer): Is the school a place to fight? I was holding back. I wasn't going to go on offensive unless I absolutely had to.
- Bubble Beak: Really? It's not like the Nameless haven't gotten into scraps at school before. I've totally watched the Pinecany arc of Fluffy Across the Blue...
- You think I didn't want to hurry it up?
- (Trailblazer): You think I didn't want to hurry it up? This is an immense undertaking. If you were in my position, it would take you a decade to achieve what I have.
- Bubble Beak: Oh look what we have here? What did you think was going to happen? Why are you getting defensive?
- Bubble Beak: Now for Question 2. Arcadian Morning Report aired the entire SparxiCon event live. I watched it. My assessment of your debut performance is: not bad.
- Bubble Beak: So, (Trailblazer), have you considered taking Fulwish TV's sponsorship?
- (Ask about the intention of the sponsorship)
- (Trailblazer): Be honest: You just want the ratings I bring, don't you?
- Bubble Beak: Hehe. That's how commercial TV works. But you'll get way more exposure through Fulwish TV, too. However you slice it, you're not losing out.
- (Question their attitude)
- (Trailblazer): Just "not bad"? With that attitude of yours...
- Bubble Beak: Heh. I'm just a contract staff. I'll say what I want. I'm not responsible for Fulwish TV's performance. If the higher-ups don't like it, they can fire me.
- (See how much the TV station is offering)
- (Trailblazer): How serious are you guys? I want to see how much sponsorship fee Fulwish TV is willing to offer.
- Bubble Beak: ...Oh! You're an outsider, so you might not know this. Fulwish TV is the biggest network in Planarcadia. They've got Wishpower coming out of their ears. Of course, that's only if you're worth the price...
- Bubble Beak: Think it over carefully, (Trailblazer). Miss this chance and it's gone for good.
- Furbulitzer: And your question time's up too. That's all for Fulwish TV's interview!
- Front row, second from the left.
- Paraprince: Beep-beep, my turn, my turn! Paraprince, special correspondent for Furbobo Weekly, reporting in, boop!
- Paraprince: I've been deep undercover at SparxiCon, working tirelessly to capture exclusive footage. I even had a run-in with "Dean" Sparxie, who caught me in the act and gave me a big old "Like" for my troubles. Surely that's worth a special commendation back at the editorial department, (Trailblazer)?
- What's wrong with being stationed at Graphia Academy?
- Paraprince: Ah... my desk is my home. I can't be away from home too long... Please, Great Raccoon, let me go back.
- Sure thing. As a reward, I'll let you ask a few more questions.
- Paraprince: Yay-boop! Here comes the questions.
- Paraprince: First question: Eyewitnesses in the park spotted Mr. Dan Heng of the Astral Express and a mysterious man in Dovebrook District, the site of a recent homicide. Furthermore, rumors suggest that (Trailblazer) isn't the only member of the Express in possession of a mask.
- Paraprince: During the SparxiCon incident, you, (Trailblazer), teamed up with others against Sparxie, leading some to claim the Astral Express doesn't play fair.
- Paraprince: Whether you're here to confirm or clarify, could you disclose more details on these matters?
- Since when was that against the rules?
- (Trailblazer): Nothing in the Phantasmoon Games' rules of engagement don't stipulate [sic] a one-on-one duel. If anything, having a horde of Sparxie-meme-infected hostiles swarming a single person is what I'd call not playing fair.
- (Trailblazer): Besides, even if I were to single-handedly take her on, I'd still come out on top. Wouldn't I?
- Paraprince: You're absolutely right! Containing the Sparxie Virus spread comes first, boop!
- No comment. That's classified information.
- (Trailblazer): Who opens by digging up someone's dirt like that? I'm not at liberty to disclose anything about the masks. If you want the scoop, you'll have to do your own legwork.
- Paraprince: Ohhh? Is this a challenge? Don't worry. I'm the kind of neighborhood quiz-grinder furbo who'll give it everything, boop!
- Which side are you reporting for, exactly?
- (Trailblazer): Are you Furbobo Weekly's reporter, or a mole from the competition?
- Paraprince: Sorry! Furbobo Weekly started as a gossip rag, after all! Once we get rolling, we don't stop, we'd even dig up dirt on our own boss if the scoop was good enough, boop!
- Paraprince: Alright, second question...
- Paraprince: There have been many reports of an old red Sparxie model at the decisive battle. But after SparxiCon wrapped up, they vanished together without a trace, boop!
- Paraprince: So who's the real Sparxie? If you had to pick, (Trailblazer), do you prefer Sparxie's current streaming persona, or her "old model"? I've been agonizing over this forever, and I just can't decide, beep-boop!
- (Trailblazer): Well...
- Furbulitzer: Holy furboly! Why are all your questions about Sparxie? I knew it! You watch Sparxie's streams all the time, don't you?
- Hand over your personal account. Confiscated.
- Paraprince: Ah... If you really have to confiscate it, at least let me delete a few bookmarks first, boop...
- The magazine is work, and Sparxie is life?
- Paraprince: I love work, and I love Sparxie. Everything I love is my life, boop...
- Paraprince: Beepbeepbeep, danger alert. Switching questions... Ah! Let's try this one!
- Paraprince: Actually, I've been lurking in Sparxhead groups for quite a while, and I discovered the fans were absolutely furious about Sparxie getting owned. They're threatening to "mobilize the Sparxheads and leave nothing standing," vowing to dig up all your online accounts!
- Paraprince: How do you, (Trailblazer), plan to handle these rabid fans?
- How about settling it face-to-face?
- (Trailblazer): Oh yeah? Don't just run your mouth behind a screen. Talk to my bat.
- Paraprince: The Great Raccoon's bat is probably even harder to handle than Sparxie's Like Hammer, boop!
- Are those people even fans?
- (Trailblazer): People who can't handle their idol losing? Fake fans, for sure! You're a smart little furbo, you definitely shouldn't get fooled by people who call themselves "fans" like that!
- Paraprince: I see! That's a deep lesson for us all!
- I'm reporting this to the CEO.
- (Trailblazer): I'm escalating this to the C-suite! I'll see to it that CEO Pearl hears about this personally.
- Paraprince: A direct line to the CEO... the Great Raccoon really has connections, boop!
- It's not like my account's a secret, right?
- (Trailblazer): Go ahead and dig. All my socials are (Trailblazer), too. It's my one and only account across the whole web.
- Paraprince: I've got a feeling... you're about to blow up, boop...
- Furbulitzer: Welp, that's about all the time we have! This Furbobo Weekly interview is officially wrapped.
- Front row, third from the left.
- Tingyun: Greetings, friends of Planarcadia, and greetings to you, benefactor! I am Tingyun, a reporter from the Cosmic Exploration editorial department of the Xianzhou, here in Planarcadia to conduct interviews.
- Running into a familiar face so far from home, what a pleasant surprise!
- Tingyun: It is! It's always such a joy to see you, benefactor. And this time, I've prepared quite a few surprises for you as well.
- Cosmic Exploration editorial department...?
- Tingyun: You see, the Seer Strategist of Xianzhou Yuque is on a diplomatic mission to Planarcadia. Having a reporter along also makes it easier to organize all kinds of diplomatic affairs.
- Tingyun: *whisper* Please help me keep my little stint as "Xianzhou's Number One Assassin" under wraps for a while longer, benefactor.
- Tingyun: First, congratulations on your opening victory at SparxiCon, (Trailblazer). Folks back home on the Xianzhou have been following your Planarcadia journey closely, and asked me to pass along a few words on their behalf.
- Tingyun: But I think words can't beat a reunion. Shall we patch them through live? Wouldn't that be the biggest surprise?
- Guinaifen: Whoa! (Trailblazer), it's really (Trailblazer)! I've missed you SO much!
- Guinaifen: Little Gui's got a question for ya: I heard Planarcadia is packed with people and ghosts, perfect for streaming. (Trailblazer), do you think Little Gui and Shangshang's ghost-hunting livestream would have a market if we brought it over?
- You gotta spend money to make money.
- (Trailblazer): VStreamers are all the rage here. I think... if you want to rake in the clout, you'd need to commission an artist on the Joy Painter website first to design your VStreamer persona.
- Guinaifen: Joy Painter? Got it, memorized! You better not be pulling my leg here.
- Absolutely! This place is crawling with ghosts.
- (Trailblazer): Not the same kind as Fyxestroll Garden, but the paranormal stuff here is nonstop. Toilet paper rolls balanced on top of stalls, blackboards that write by themselves, and— Ahhhh look behind you...
- Guinaifen: Waaah! There's nothing there!
- Guinaifen: Hmph, that trick might work on Shangshang, but it won't scare me!
- I'll help Little Gui boost the stream, and we split the profits.
- (Trailblazer): I've got a magazine office in Planarcadia. I can rally my furbo network to push your account. You get thirty, I take seventy. Pretty generous, right?
- Guinaifen: Th—That's robbery!
- Tingyun: Little Gui's question is done. Next is...
- Yanqing: (Trailblazer), long time no see.
- Yanqing: I've heard Planarcadia's matches aren't like Xianzhou sparring. They're judged on whether they've enough "Elation." Yanqing can't quite picture it. Could you share your tactical thinking, (Trailblazer)?
- I thought this was Planarcadia's Got Talent.
- (Trailblazer): Just wing it. Where's the fun if we take prep seriously?
- (Trailblazer): Let me put it this way, if you were to shout "My name is Lengfeng!" at the audience, you'd have a way better shot at winning than actually picking up a sword and dueling seriously. Get what I'm saying?
- Yanqing: Do I get it... I think I do.
- I'm ready to bail at a moment's notice.
- (Trailblazer): This is too funny. There's no plan. Not even my opponent can guess my next move. Heck, even I don't know what I'm doing next!
- (Trailblazer): But there's an old Xianzhou saying: Even flailing fists can take down a master. That's my strategy.
- Yanqing: Well... I imagine that Joyseeker would actually be delighted by this turn of events.
- Show up, and I'll tell you myself.
- (Trailblazer): You've got a lot to learn, kid. Join the Phantasmoon Games. I'll personally show you what true "Elation" looks like.
- Yanqing: Too dangerous. I'll stick to practicing my swordplay.
- Tingyun: Alright! That wraps up Young Master Yanqing's questions too. Benefactor, your answers were so informative and insightful. This humble lady has no further questions to ask.
- That person on the wall over there.
- Seadrake: You caught me. I'm not just the Dean of Graphia Academy, I'm also the founder of Campus Voice. In other words, all campus media at Graphia Academy falls under my purview.
- First time hearing about this program.
- Seadrake: Yeah, campus media's got a long way to go before it breaks out of the campus bubble.
- I just picked one at random.
- Seadrake: It's fate that you picked me. You truly understand us ideogenitive imagenae.
- Seadrake: Either way, thank you for saving Graphia Academy. Let me ask a few questions on behalf of Campus Voice.
- Seadrake: Hmm... First question: What do you think of the classes at Graphia Academy? In other words, did any particular teacher or course leave a lasting impression on you at Planarcadia's most prestigious school?
- I'll always love Dean Sparxie.
- (Trailblazer): Sparxie! Sparxie! I love Dean Sparxie the most!
- Seadrake: Oh no, kid, let me call the nurse's office for you. Where's the doctor who treats memetic viruses?
- Teacher Evanescia's painting class.
- (Trailblazer): Ms. Evanescia's art is absolutely divine! I especially love how she captures me on canvas.
- Seadrake: Efan... nesha? Am I suddenly deaf? Does Graphia Academy even have a teacher by that name?
- Dean Seadrake's surfing class.
- Seadrake: Surfing? Whatever does that mean? If you mean surfing through Worldbreaker Waves... I must admit, in my greener years, I did indeed immerse myself within those painted tides. That feeling is simply... bodacious! The memory alone remains quite evocative...
- (Trailblazer): Exactly! Dean Seadrake can teach me internet slangs from twenty years ago... "It was bodacious!"
- What... What classes did I even take?
- (Trailblazer): Sorry, but that's how school works. The more you cram, the faster you forget.
- Seadrake: You... *sigh* I suppose that makes me a failure as your Dean of Discipline.
- Seadrake: Alright, second question: After this whole SparxiCon incident, do you have any campus safety recommendations for Graphia Academy?
- Tighten up campus security.
- (Trailblazer): If Sparxie could slip onto campus, and so many students could turn into identical Sparxies you can't tell apart, that tells you one thing. Graphia Academy's campus security system is seriously overdue for an upgrade!
- Seadrake: Ugh, upgrading the system? That's easier said than done. If it were easy to fix, it would've been done already.
- Keep water guns and fire extinguishers stocked in the hallways.
- (Trailblazer): Do you have any idea how long I spent hunting down waves, sampans, and moons just to piece together the scenery in Worldbreaker Waves?
- (Trailblazer): These fire safety measures are ancient. Keep high-pressure water guns and fire extinguishers on hand.
- Seadrake: Good point. Graphia Academy has plenty of fire hazards... That sounds dangerous, and in truth, it isn't impervious.
- No suggestions here.
- (Trailblazer): No need to plan ahead. Whatever happens tomorrow, you'll know the day after.
- Seadrake: Mhmm, makes sense. You're starting to sound more and more like me. I understand you perfectly now.
- Furbulitzer: Alright, this is going nowhere. That wraps up our interview with Dean Seadrake, master of rambling!
- (After first dialogue choice)
- Furbulitzer: Please select another reporter for (Trailblazer) to be interviewed by.
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- (After second dialogue choice, if "Front row, second from the left." hasn't been selected yet)
- Furbulitzer: *whisper* Boss, don't forget! Save an interview slot for Furbobo Weekly.
- Front row, second from the left.
- (After second dialogue choice if "Front row, second from the left." was one of the choices, otherwise after above)
- Furbulitzer: Alright, dear friends, that's a wrap for today's press conference!
- Furbulitzer: Up next, we've got an interview lined up with the entire Astral Express Crew, so stay tuned to Furbobo Weekly! All interview content will be posted under Arcadia Alert. See you soon!
- After all interviews concluded...
Don't forget to check the group chat, president~
- Furbulitzer: Great Raccoon, besides me and Paraprince, you haven't really met the rest of the Furbobo Weekly staff, right? A lot of furbos have been dying to meet their new boss.
- Furbulitzer: I'll add you to the work group chat right now and introduce you properly!
- File:Icon System.png Furbulitzer invited (Trailblazer) to the group chat "AAA Furbobo Weekly Wholesale Requests"?Hey hey, a new furbo is here?New furbs gotta drop a selfieShould I drop a pic?File:Icon System.png Furbulitzer has transferred group ownership to (Trailblazer)@everyone The new president's here!A huge welcome to our president! With the red-hot superstar Baseball Raccoon as our president, Furbobo Weekly is finally gonna make it big!Oh no, I'm so sorry, it's the presidentAll hail the president!All hail the president!@Furblix Where's your greeting?Furblix kept spamming earlier, so I muted them!File:Icon System.png Furbulitzer has unmuted group member FurblixCan't believe I didn't recognize the president. These furb eyes of mine must be going blind! As punishment, I'll post a selfieFile:Image.pngOooh! I'm sending over a glam pic too~File:Image.pngGreat Raccoon, why don't you share a photo too, so everyone can get to know you better?Leave a mature, professional impressionNoneWow, the classic formal photo of a successful person!You've totally got the look of someone who could lead Furbobo Weekly to become Media Outlet of the Year!Leave a quirky and playful impressionNoneWow, the president looks so mysterious and unpredictable. (He/
She)'s got even more faces than me, the Thousand-Faced Joolyon! Nya-ha! I nearly laughed myself to death. Our esteemed president truly understands Elation!Leave a mysterious, enigmatic impressionNoneIt looks amazing!Love the president's microexpressions ♡That face could totally debut at Pearluxe Entertainment!Huh? This little furb didn't see anything at all!Oh wait am I late I just saw this Is this the new boss Are we finally getting a new boss I knew it Furbobocom without someone calling the shots we were going nowhere Having a leader now is absolutely fantasticBoss How's your day been? Everything going smoothly? Did you have breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Midnight snack? Coffee? If there's anything you need help with Just let me know anytime Furblix is always here to help you outFile:Image.pngFile:Image.pngFile:Icon System.png Furblix sent 99+ images in a row, the system has automatically collapsed themFile:Icon System.png Furbulitzer has muted group member FurblixSorry, Great Raccoon! I muted them again, they were just spamming way too much!
Thank you coffee, thank you president!
- Furbulitzer: Boss! To get Furbobo Weekly out on time, I've been typing so hard my furbo paws are practically worn down to nubs!
- Furbulitzer: But a wave of drowsiness burst forth like kraken ink, shrouding the office in darkness.
- Furbulitzer: Boss... could you knock me out at my desk? Maybe when I wake up, an article will have magically rolled right off my face...
- Time to put your executive skills to the test! To motivate your furbo journalists, you decide to...
- Use reverse psychology.
- You lean close to Furbulitzer's fluffy little ear and whisper in a low, wicked, devilish tone: "Paraprince has already written 3,000 more words than you!"
- Furbulitzer: Wh—What!? That scheming Paraprince! It clearly told me it'd only written 1,000! Traitor furbo.
- Furbulitzer: Farewell, Boss! I'm heading back to crank out a manuscript at warp speed! Tonight, I'll deafen the newsroom with the sound of my keyboard!
- (Trailblazer): Don't push yourself too hard... Tell the work chat I'm buying everyone coffee.
- Coffee's on me, everyone! Extra shot!
- Furbulitzer: Whoa, no way! This deal's too good to miss! I'm going to ping everyone in the work chat right now!
- Pathetically hang yourself at the magazine entrance.
- So what can you do? You're a pathetic excuse for a boss who can only come up with the most cowardly solution: hang yourself outside the magazine office as an apology before the deadline hits.
- Furbulitzer: No, absolutely not! We finally got ourselves a new president. Furbobo Weekly can't go under again!
- Furbulitzer: For the future of the magazine... I'll endure... press on... my eyelids are so heavy... I think I see great-grandpa... Sorry, great-grandpa, I can't join you yet. I still have articles to write...
- (Trailblazer): Don't push yourself too hard... Tell the work chat I'm buying everyone coffee.
- @Everyone The president is treating us all to coffee!We've got Iced Chili Pepper Mocha, Octopus Eye Poppin' Boba, Vinegar Kelp Cold Brew, and more! All furbos hopping aboard, type OK in chat!OKKKKOKKKFurli, what do you mean?File:Sticker.pngSo that's basically the gist of it! I bet a lot of you furbs out there can't believe what you're hearing, and honestly? Even I don't really know what it all means... but hey, that's just how it is! Pretty wild, right? Hope that clears things up for everyone...Furli had dozed off from exhaustion, but the Great Raccoon triggered its auto-writing keywordWho picked out this coffee? It doesn't exactly seem drinkable...Personally selected by yours truly, Furbulitzer! One sip gets you going, two sips spark inspiration, three sips and you'll write like a god!I'll help to type "OK" for the president! C'mon, let's try it together!OKKKKK
- Furbulitzer: Boss! Coffee's here! Drink it while it's hot!
- The café's "Lightpaw Express Delivery" arrives at Dovebrook-surfing speed. With the deadline looming, you savor this rare moment of rest... and the coffee Furbulitzer picked just for you...
- Iced Chili Pepper Mocha
- Glug, glug... A searing heat dives down your throat. Sweat beads at your temples. This isn't normal spicy, this is devil pepper forged in magma, if this thing even qualifies as coffee...
- Octopus Eye Poppin' Boba
- You bite down through the sea-salt mix. Chewy. Gelatinous. Disturbingly resilient. In that instant, you realize: the Abyss has just winked at you, the moment you dared bite your first octopus eye.
- Vinegar Kelp Cold Brew
- You vaguely recall someone saying vinegar kelp smells like an old man's armpit. Cold-brewed, it's more like an armpit towel soaked for three straight days. One hard gulp is enough to make the world spin...
- (Trailblazer): Blergh...
- Furbulitzer: Boss... what's wrong? Why're your eyes rolling back like that!?
- Thank the iron stomach you forged surviving Himeko's coffee. It saved you when it mattered.
- Getting on Furbulitzer's coffee cart... never again!
The Great Raccoon is a streaming pro too
- Furbulitzer: Great Raccoon, do you remember our field reporter, Furblix?
- Furbulitzer: It's been piloting the long-form video and livestreaming business for Furbobo Weekly lately. It caught quite a bit of attention.
- Furbulitzer: Furblix says the fans' comments on public screens are all about how they want to see Baseball Raccoon, so! It wants to start a livestream battle with you to get more fans!
- A livestream battle? Interesting.
- (Trailblazer): Time to put my popularity to the test? I'm on my way.
- I'm a bit busy right now. I'll come back later.
- Furblix: Only top-tier content.
- (scene change)
- (Trailblazer) enters Furblix's livestream...
- Furblix: Furboooo! I just knew something good would happen! It started when I got up today and stepped out the door with my left foot first then made sure to only step on the white stripes at the crosswalk! I swear sticking to these little superstitious life hacks really pays off.
- Furblix: Check it out Baseball Raccoon is actually here!
- Furblix: Boss, I've been dying for a chance to get some more face time with you, I know I don't get to spend mornings and noons and nights with you like those furbos at the magazine, and even though I Furblix am stationed all over the Dovebrook District, my heart is always right there by your side, you have no idea how excited I am right now!
- Furblix, please slow down.
- Furblix, please get to the point.
- Furblix: Okay.
- Furblix: Welcome to the stream, fam! Today's match mechanic is all about "Anything Goes."
- Furblix: In other words, you and yours truly can do whatever we want as long as we don't violate the Department of Aberration Defense's regulations, whichever side ends the stream with more Rockets flowers sports cars jets and total popularity points wins!
- Furblix: Fam, I'm starting first—
- Furblix: Press 1 and Furblix will drop a bombshell, press 2 and I'll transform into your favorite character, press 3 to satisfy your deepest secret desire, so boss which one is it gonna be?
- Furbulitzer: Oh my goodness, Furblix is really going all out... Which interaction method will Great Raccoon choose?
- Press 1
- (Trailblazer): 11111, Furblix, spill the tea! I've got a question: Do you like your current colleagues?
- Furblix: Hmm...
- Furblix: Can you blur the names?
- Furblix: Okay okay, I don't like them because Furli is always snoring on the job, Bruce and Tiger Furlee start performing crosstalk comedy at the drop of a hat, and that detective monkey over there keeps throwing banana peels on the floor after eating— Will you be blurring the names?
- Furbulitzer: Of course, of course.
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Didn't expect a bombshell like that... I totally feel for Furblix right now."
- Livestream Viewer @2: "I've always had a soft spot for Furblix's genuine personality."
- Livestream Viewer @3: "If the staff's unhappy, it's usually the boss's fault. I'm with Furblix on this one."
- Press 2
- (Trailblazer): 22222! Furblix, can you transform into my favorite character?
- Furblix: Your favorite character... I bet it's this one, right?
- Theorosbo: In the name of Theofurbo, I have waited in silence through countless cycles of reincarnation, all for the chance to witness (Trailblazer) entering (his/
her) very livestream for the first time. Heheh, my Deliverer... Our meeting here in Planarcadia cannot be described as anything less than romantic serendipity~ - Livestream Viewer @1: Unsubscribe, unsubscribe! I don't wanna see Lygus!
- Livestream Viewer @2: "Why? Don't you find Lygus just adorable?"
- Livestream Viewer @3: "That's not how Lygus talks, is it? Feels a bit out of character for him."
- Furblix: Aaaah what Theofurbo isn't popular anymore? I'll never try to guess your thoughts ever again, boss!
- Press 3
- (Trailblazer): Satisfy what lies in the hidden corner of my heart? What hidden corner do I even have?
- Furblix: It gets way more specific than that for instance: "aaaa" is come here "bbbb" is kneel "cccc" is my palm gently brushing against your cheek and "dddd" is lie on the ground and squeal like a ploo this is the Piece-It-Together Livestream that's all the rage in Planarcadia right now!
- Livestream Viewer @1: "As a Ploo, I feel seriously offended!"
- Livestream Viewer @PeacefulPlanarcadia: "We have detected that Furblix triggered sensitive keywords. A warning has been issued."
- Livestream Viewer @2: "How boring. Can we just talk about something with actual substance?"
- Furblix: Chats, that stream showdown just now was only a drill. Gotta let Baseball Raccoon get a feel of what we do first!
- Furblix: And now, we officially start the next round!
- Furblix: Hello? Hello hello? Boss, are you talking-king-king-king-king? Why can't I hear you-ou-ou...? Okay, okay-kay-kay-kay. Now o-o-officially s-s-s-s-s-s-starting... the... next... round...
- Streamer Furblix is disconnecting
- Hello? Hello? Why did the screen go black?
- Hello? Hello? Is the internet down in Dovebrook District?
- Meanwhile, a chaotic burst of static emits from Furblix's black screen...
- ???: So you're the one called Furblix, huh? You're from Furbobo Weekly, yes? And your boss (Trailblazer) is over there?
- Furblix: My boss is talking to me right now who are you guys Ack! Give me back my phone how can you hit a furbo...
- Streamer Furblix has been kicked from the livestream
- User @Daybreak's No.1 Stan has entered the livestream
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: I'm the number one stan of "Team Daybreak". Just take a look at my signature, and you should know why I'm here.
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: And now, I'm challenging (Trailblazer) to a livestream showdown!
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Let the netizens of Planarcadia see just how their beloved Baseball Raccoon gets grilled by Team Daybreak!
- Huh? Why do you wanna have a showdown with me?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Obviously, it's because you bullied Planarcadia's elected superhero, Daybreak Squadron, at the Star Rail FEST. And we, Team Daybreak, are here to settle the score!
- What did you do to Furblix?
- Furblix: Chat, I'm all good. I majored in the Dusk Wars at uni. What's there to be afraid of? This is nothing. Even though my health has always been bad since I was a preemie furbo, my motto in this life is... get in early! You guys, go support our boss! Do not let our boss lose face!
- Furbulitzer: Great Raccoon, bad news! The Furbobo Weekly building is surrounded by a mob of Daybreak Squadron fans!
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Got scared? But you don't have to. I'm the one you're fighting against.
- What do you want to challenge me to?
- Can I say no?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Nope. I already pried off your "End Stream" button.
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Let's cut the fluff. We're gonna duel on just one thing: Truth.
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Take my first question! What exactly happened to Daybreak Squadron after the Star Rail FEST battle? Why hasn't there been any news up until now?
- Answer in an official capacity.
- (Trailblazer): *Ahem* Planarcadia has its own security unit. The Department of Aberration Defense is currently investigating the ins and outs of this incident. I trust they'll release a public statement when the time is right.
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: How can you guarantee the Department of Aberration Defense is telling the truth?
- Livestream Viewer @1: "If what the Department of Aberration Defense says isn't true, then answer me... what is?"
- Livestream Viewer @2: "You're just a total troll. I suggest you watch more Criminal Law with Kuchiba."
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: I—I just meant (Trailblazer) is missing the point! This is... Ugh!
- Answer in a profound tone.
- (Trailblazer): Why not ask Lady Fulwish? She's the real "mastermind" behind the Daybreak Squadron. She should know their whereabouts better than I do.
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Fulwish TV is shoving Daybreak Squadron ads in our faces non-stop. They're trying way too hard to hype them up."
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: What do you mean? Some are hyped up to fame, but some are born to it. Fulwish TV launches twenty superhero projects a year, and the only one that's fire is Daybreak Squadron. Keep that in mind, will ya?
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Okay, okay. Whatever you say. I'll just go root for Baseball Raccoon then."
- Answer in a capricious way.
- (Trailblazer): Hmm... I don't know. But I do know I've got a pretty decent figure.
- Livestream Viewer @1: "...What's that supposed to mean? Some kind of meme?"
- Livestream Viewer @2: "I have no idea, but it sure sounded cool."
- Livestream Viewer @3: "Hahahaha, just can't get enough of Baseball Raccoon talking nonsense~ *Flowers* ×3"
- Answer in a spineless way.
- (Trailblazer): Please, stop asking! I can't answer that kind of question. I really can't! I seriously want to get down on my knees and beg myself to stop being such a coward, only to realize I've just awakened this second personality! Please, I'm begging you...
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Sorry, I only admire the strong. Seeing Baseball Raccoon like this is just so embarrassing. I really can't bring myself to like (him/
her) anymore." - Livestream Viewer @TopDonor1: "Free shipping, 50% off! Selling second-hand Baseball Raccoon merch! *Landmine* ×1 *Slippers* ×3"
- Furbulitzer: *sob* Even our number one big bro can't take this lying down! Great Raccoon, you gotta pull yourself together...
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Hmph! The first round of our showdown is over for now.
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: And following close behind is the second round of showdown. Please answer my second question! Just moments ago, the Phantasmoon issued a declaration: The participant who wins the Phantasmoon Games will transform from an Aeon of one minute into an Aeon for eternity...
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Why does the timing coincide so perfectly with (Trailblazer)'s victory over Daybreak Squadron? Could there be some unspeakable secret behind all this?
- Answer in an official capacity.
- (Trailblazer): Humans always judge God's actions from a self-centered perspective. I suggest you refer to Aha's opinion.
- Livestream Viewer @1: "That... actually... kinda makes sense?"
- Livestream Viewer @2: "Unspeakable secret? You mean you reached this conclusion after carefully discussing it with Aha's team?"
- Livestream Viewer @3: "Haha, why don't you just shoot Aha a message and ask THEM?"
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Darn it! I tried my hardest to find a loophole in what you said, but your defense was completely watertight...
- Answer in a profound tone.
- (Trailblazer): I did a quick fortune divination. It might be that the "Daybreak" and "Phantasmoon" are clashing. After all, the sun and the moon don't share the same sky.
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Gotta be honest, that was a pretty low-EQ take from Baseball Raccoon."
- Livestream Viewer @2: "What's that supposed to mean? Isn't that a bit of a stretch?"
- Livestream Viewer @3: "I like The Fluffy, and I like Daybreak Squadron too, but right now... I'm rooting for Daybreak Squadron!"
- Answer in a capricious way.
- (Trailblazer): That's right, the unspeakable secret is I've received the true teachings of Elation from Aha. They say a wise guide shows the way ahead, a helping hand sees trials to their end. Each passage hard, each step severe, yet one by one, the hurdles clear. Love you, Aha. See you tomorrow!
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Baseball Raccoon really has a way with words, huh? Unbeatable literary prowess right there."
- Livestream Viewer @2: "Mom, I wanna go to Paperfold University and become as well-educated as Baseball Raccoon."
- Livestream Viewer @3: "I didn't understand a thing Baseball Raccoon just said... But that was awesome."
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: ...I seriously just can't deal with netizens these days...
- Answer in a spineless way.
- (Trailblazer): Because... because... I'm sorry. I honestly don't know...
- (Trailblazer): I used to have the strength to get angry, but now all I can say is sorry! This is my life... Are you satisfied now that your question has stumped me? You heartless monster! (Wailing + crawling around in a distorted manner)
- Livestream Viewer @1: *sigh*... What a pathetic Baseball Raccoon. You lost this one. It's no big deal, really.
- Livestream Viewer @TopDonor2: "Just got some second-hand Baseball Raccoon merch. Selling at 80% off, shipping included. *Landmine* ×1 *Slippers* ×3"
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Hahahaha! Looks like you still don't get how a livestream showdown works!
- Furbulitzer: You've asked enough questions. Now it's Baseball Raccoon's turn to strike back, don't you think?
- Furbulitzer: Great Raccoon, turns out he doesn't really understand Daybreak Squadron either. Time for us to seize his weakness and break this guy!
- Are you really a fan of Daybreak Squadron?
- (Trailblazer): How can you prove you're a fan of Daybreak Squadron? Just by shouting a few slogans?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: You're questioning my loyalty? That's ridiculous! I even sleep facing Fulwish TV!
- (Trailblazer): But I have a group photo with the entire Daybreak Squadron. How about that? Doesn't that make me a way bigger fan than you?
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Wow, Baseball Raccoon and Daybreak Squadron get along way better than I imagined!"
- Livestream Viewer @2: "This is so cute! What a great photo! *Flowers* ×3"
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: How... How do you have such a close-up photo with the Squadron!? Even I don't have one like that! Argh, this is not fair!
- Do you even support the Happiness Surgery?
- (Trailblazer): Do you support everything Daybreak Squadron does?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: What's wrong with that?
- (Trailblazer): In that case, have you ever heard of Happiness Surgery, or perhaps... entertained the thought of undergoing it yourself?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: What does that mean? Loving Daybreak Squadron makes me happy enough. I don't need any Happiness Surgery.
- (Trailblazer): I see. In that case... you aren't actually a die-hard Daybreak Squadron stan.
- Livestream Viewer @1: "I heard about it once at the Star Rail FEST! One of the Daybreak Squadron members actually did the Happiness Surgery."
- Livestream Viewer @2: "But an actor playing a superhero who only ever feels happiness... That's just weird, no matter how you look at it!"
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: ...Why did it turn out like this? Why? Is being liked by me not enough happiness? I... I don't understand...
- What have you contributed to the GDP?
- (Trailblazer): Don't just trash-talk me. What have you done for Duomension City's GDP?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: ...You're right.
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Duomension City's GDP is steadily rising but the rich aroma of Dreamless Coffee does nothing to bring sweet afterglow to Kraken balls, whereas the pre-cooked staff meals at Pearluxe Tower actually make me feel safer eating them, and as a matter of fact, the biggest advantage of Duomension City is 800 words omitted here...
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Wait, he actually knows about this?"
- Livestream Viewer @2: "Baseball Raccoon, he seems to know an awful lot. I really can't back you up this time."
- (Trailblazer): His whole expression changes when we talked about GDP. Is Furblix still around? You're the only one who can take him on...
- How do I trigger a Weakness Break on you?
- (Trailblazer): ...What I'm trying to say is, stop obsessing over breaking people's composure all the time. Is your actual Break team comp complete? Have you wrapped your head around Weakness Break and Super Break yet?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: I... I don't know... The only thing I'm into is watching Daybreak Squadron.
- Livestream Viewer @1: "It's a combat mechanic from one of the Daybreak Squadron series. Even a casual like me knows that."
- Livestream Viewer @2: "You don't actually love Daybreak Squadron, do you? *Slipper* ×3"
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: I... actually, I haven't seen every single one...
- Furbulitzer: Whoa, look at all those weaknesses! He just got totally Super Broken by the Great Raccoon!
- Furbulitzer: And the winner of the popularity showdown is... the Great Raccoon!
- Winning and losing are all part of the game...
- This is nothing to be proud of.
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: I concede... When it comes to popularity, Baseball Raccoon really does have the upper hand...
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: There's a reason Daybreak Squadron lost to you. I'm completely convinced this time.
- The livestream showdown against @Daybreak's No.1 Stan has concluded. You have earned the title of "People's Choice Streamer King."
- Winning and losing are all part of the game...
- Furbulitzer: The final results of the popularity showdown are in... *sob*... The Great Raccoon lost! How could this even happen!?
- Winning and losing are all part of the game...
- Can we start over?
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: Just admit it, I'm the winner this time!
- Livestream Viewer @1: "Heeey, leave Baseball Raccoon alone! Pick on me instead! *Rocket* ×3"
- Livestream Viewer @2: "Winning the showdown gets you nothing, but losing it wins my solicitude."
- @Daybreak's No.1 Stan: You... Grrr! You really know how to milk your fans for sympathy!
- The livestream showdown against @Daybreak's No.1 Stan has concluded. You've earned the title of "Most Pathetic President" of Planarcadia.
- Furbulitzer: Alright, dear friends, that's a wrap for today's livestream showdown!
- Furbulitzer: And a special announcement! Due to the Research Society of Happy Smiles' sneaky stunts at Star Rail FEST and the harm caused to (Trailblazer)'s reputation, Furbobo Weekly hereby terminates our partnership with them immediately!
- Furbulitzer: We have officially crossed the Research Society of Happy Smiles off our list of sponsors to make our stance clear!
- Furbulitzer: As usual, we've got an interview featuring trending questions, so stay tuned to Furbobo Weekly! All interview content will be posted under Arcadia Alert. See you soon!
We furbos are waiting for our performance review results!
- Furbulitzer: Great Raccoon, a message for you: The year-end performance review for Furbobo Weekly is just around the corner.
- Furbulitzer: Please select your performance review strategy!
- Performance review in the magazine?
- Furbulitzer: Although we certainly didn't have that when Director Nihilux was in charge... from a professional management perspective, it's absolutely necessary to implement it!
- Do furbos have performance reviews, too?
- Furbulitzer: Yeah, yeah! We might be small, but we're a legit business operating under Planarcadia's Faekind Protection Act!
- Furbulitzer: Leave the procedural stuff to me, Great Raccoon! All you need to do is make the executive decisions! Which means... What kind of strategy have you decided on for evaluating our work?
Judged based on loose and casual standards.
- (Trailblazer): Furbulitzer, let me test you: Is the value of an employee's work really determined by the boss's evaluation?
- Furbulitzer: Th—Then... who gets to decide the value of our work?
- (Trailblazer): Of course, it's yourselves! The youth of Planarcadia around the millennium were the "relaxed generation," so I've decided: Whatever score you give yourselves, that's the score I'll give you.
- Furbulitzer: So that's how it is... We must take our destiny into our own hands...
- Judged based on shared excellence.
- (Trailblazer): So-called "performance" is just a pretext for capitalist exploitation. You're still lacking some insight, Furbulitzer.
- Furbulitzer: Aaaah, you're right, Great Raccoon! It is I who must study advanced social science furb-eories!
- (Trailblazer): Furbobo Weekly operates on the shared joy principle, so let's all share in this excellence! If we're short on prize money, it's coming out of my deposit.
- Furbulitzer: Great! Thanks, boss! You're so generous!
- Judged based on a scientific and effective manner.
- (Trailblazer): It's my first time being a President. I wanted to ask you first: What does a proper, scientific evaluation process usually look like?
- Furbulitzer: Usually, the employees complete a self-evaluation first, then the boss chats with everyone one-on-one, and finally, the official results are given based on those self-evaluations.
- (Trailblazer): Not bad. I can't be bothered to think of anything else, so let's just roll with that.
- Furbulitzer: Whoa, just like that? Talk about efficiency!
- Judged based on the President's priorities.
- (Trailblazer): First off, I'm rating myself "Very Satisfied." Since taking over Furbobo Weekly, I've practically poured my heart and soul into the magazine, and successfully multiplied our subscription numbers several times over.
- Furbulitzer: Great Raccoon is absolutely right! Furbobo Weekly would be done for without you.
- (Trailblazer): As for the furbos... I've heard the IPC has a tradition of seizing Performance Points from entry-level employees...
- Furbulitzer: Aaaah! Could it be...
- (Trailblazer): Right this moment, I finally understand my past enemies.
- (Trailblazer): Furbulitzer, please pass this on: What's yours is mine, and what's mine is still mine. Work yourself to the bone for me next year, too! Mwah ♥~
- Furbulitzer: Roger! I'll sync your performance review strategy to the furbos right away, Great Raccoon!
Better be more careful who you partner up with next time~
- Furbulitzer: Boss! We've got a problem!
- Furbulitzer: We've been getting tons of messages lately demanding to know why we dropped our sponsorship from the Research Society of Happy Smiles but not from Fulwish TV?
- Furbulitzer: Boss, what should we do?
- I was wondering the same thing. Why is that?
- Furbulitzer: We were slow to respond, and the magazine really does need that sponsorship money... Please hear me out first, Boss!
- Don't withdraw it! I wanna see The Fluffy ad!
- Furbulitzer: I get it. That animated ad for The Fluffy never gets old, does it? In that case, there's still room for negotiation...
- Furbulitzer: The sponsorship fee is just way too hefty. If we pull the plug on this partnership now, they'll probably come after us for compensation.
- The Research Society of Happy Smiles is paying way too little...
- Furbulitzer: The Smiles Society is just too shady. No matter how much they offer, we can't keep working with them.
- Furbulitzer: Besides, the Research Society's non-existent now... No one's gonna sponsor us anyway.
- Didn't expect the reason for this to be so cold and realistic.
- Furbulitzer: Payday's right around the corner, Boss! We gotta hang in there...
- Furbulitzer: Even though Fulwish used to be the director of Fulwish TV, she wasn't the one calling all the shots there, y'know.
- Furbulitzer: Word has it that the execs at Fulwish TV are scrambling to distance themselves from Fulwish. Wouldn't be surprised if they rebrand as Furbo TV before long...
- Furbulitzer: But I heard most of the production team for Arcadian Morning Report jumped ship to Duomension TV, so the outlook isn't looking too rosy.
- What's their official stance on this?
- Furbulitzer: The official line is that the TV station was hijacked and exploited by Fulwish, making them victims of the incident, too.
- Furbulitzer: Considering the sponsorship fees, the magazine's stance, and public opinion in the community... What should we do now, Boss?
- Let's go find ourselves some brand-new sponsors!
- (Trailblazer): If Furbobo Weekly is to survive, we need to find sponsors that are more stable and secure.
- Furbulitzer: Understood! It's all about diversifying our income streams. Another masterful decision by the President! I'll go post the advertising vacancies right away...
- Grit our teeth and wait for Fulwish TV to go bankrupt...
- (Trailblazer): We should see what Fulwish TV does next before making a move... After all, we've got readers who get us. Can't just fixate on the naysayers.
- Furbulitzer: Good point. I'll put out a survey to ask readers what they really think about the TV station. Can't just take one side's word for it.
- Explain our predicament to the public.
- (Trailblazer): Fulwish TV is not synonymous with Fulwish. We neither endorse Fulwish's positions nor possess the latitude to unilaterally terminate our partnership with the network... this represents our current predicament.
- Furbulitzer: An honest and upfront approach might just get everyone to understand us. That's really something, Boss!
- Furbulitzer: Sorry about that, Boss. If only we could chat about something lighter like we usually do...
- Chatting with you is always a blast, Furbulitzer!
- Furbulitzer: Boss, can... can you lead us for the rest of our lives? *sob*~
- Then you owe me a casual chat next time~
- Furbulitzer: From this moment on, I owe you a more lighthearted topic, Boss~ I'll come back with good news!
Furli
Another issue of The Fluffy, nice...
- Furli: Boss! First thing in the morning, Furbulitzer got into an argument with someone right outside the magazine office. No idea what it was about!
- Furli: C'mon, let's go check it out!
- On my way.
- I saw Furbulitzer at the workstation just now?
- Furli: Oh that... He said he got too worked up, so he came back to the office, took a breather, and went straight back out to continue arguing.
- Let them bicker a little longer.
- (Returns to Furbobocom)
- Furbulitzer: That's slander, furreal! Furbobo Weekly would never work with some shady bootleg author! Our legal department has already secured the evidence! Watch it, or we'll sue you for defamation, furreal!
- (Trailblazer): (Since when did we even have a legal department?)
- Furbulitzer: You better watch yourself, our boss is rich and powerful! In Duomension City, the traffic stops for them whenever they cross the road. So tell me, are you scared!?
- (Clears throat, confirming that's true)
- (Clears throat, indicating this has nothing to do with me)
- ???: What're you blabbering on about? If you won't let me in, then bring your president out here and let me settle this face-to-face.
- Looking for our president? That's me!
- The president isn't here. Go somewhere else!
- ???: Goodbye!
- Furbulitzer: Hey...!? Get back here! This is our esteemed president!
- Who's barking?
- Furbulitzer: He's the one barking, Boss!
- ???: Hah! You're the president? I thought the head of a furbo magazine would be a furbo too. Turns out you're human.
- Mr. Fincher: Great, that makes things easier. I'm Fincher, licensed IP specialist with an IPC publishing subsidiary under Pearluxe Entertainment. I'm responsible for the IP management of Fluffy Across the Blue. May I ask if (Furbobo Gossip/Moon Chat/Death Notes/Gossip Grove/Custom Name 3) is a forum operated under your organization?
- (Trailblazer): That's right.
- Mr. Fincher: Hmph! Then let me ask you this: those posts on the (Furbobo Gossip/Moon Chat/Death Notes/Gossip Grove/Custom Name 3) forum infringe on our licensed IP. Did you seriously not review them at all?
- Of course we reviewed them. Don't slander us!
- Mr. Fincher: Is that so? Then how did this happen?
- Review? I don't know anything about that.
- Mr. Fincher: I see. Then I'm not surprised at all that this happened.
- Mr. Fincher: Now please bring up your (Furbobo Gossip/Moon Chat/Death Notes/Gossip Grove/Custom Name 3) forum and take a look at that outrageously popular post...
- Mr. Fincher: A blatant bootleg of Fluffy Across the Blue! Do you really think this is acceptable!?
- Unlocks during The Fluffy's "Bootleg" Comic Mix-Up event when Furbobocom Bestseller Rank reaches Level 6
| Fluffy Across the Blue Special Skit No. 1 | |
|---|---|
 HD_Bar_Colt
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 ???
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#FluffyAcrosstheBlue  Today's Update: Fluffy Across the Blue Special Skit "A Day at Graphia Academy" is now available~  Stay tuned for more regular updates here! 
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- Furbulitzer: The uploader ID is... "HD_Bar_Colt"? What does that even mean?
- Mr. Fincher: Probably short for "I'm a bootleg account of Blurry_QR_Colt, please notice me."
- The art's pretty good though!
- Mr. Fincher: Right!? That's what I thought! Way too good!
- Mr. Fincher: We firmly oppose this kind of style-laundering plagiarism! This bootleg artist is absolutely unforgivable!
- Isn't this basically the original?
- Mr. Fincher: Wrong! I've read every single chapter drawn by Blurry.
- Mr. Fincher: Th—This is just an extremely accurate style imitation! Drats, what devilishly skilled knockoff!
- I can't even...
- Mr. Fincher: Delete the post, incarcerate them, or help the IPC sue this plagiarist author. Your call.
- Mr. Fincher: (Actually... if we could poach them and have them ghost-draw for Blurry, maybe it's not unforgivable. Might be worth negotiating with Furbobo Weekly...)
- Furbulitzer: Isn't there a chance this is actually Blurry's alt account?
- Furbulitzer: Wait, don't you work for the IP? Why not just ask Blurry directly?
- Mr. Fincher: There's no need to bother our distinguished author for such a trivial issue!
- Mr. Fincher: If this really was drawn by the author herself, I'll... eat my keyboard right in front of all of you! If I say I know Blurry second-best, no one dares claim first! This "HD_Bar_Colt" is definitely a plagiarist!
- Well, that makes things easy. Just give her a call.
- Mr. Fincher: Easy for you to say! If it is a plagiarist, you eat your keyboard too!
- Furbulitzer: Just ring her up first...
- If it's a plagiarist, I'll eat it.
- Mr. Fincher: Hehe, looks like this keyboard's just made it into Planarcadia's must-eat list!
- Furbulitzer: Never mind that for now. Why can't you just call them, furreal?
- Mr. Fincher: I do have Blurry's private contact, but the editorial department drilled it into me: unless we're printing tomorrow and the world is on fire, do NOT call the author...
- Mr. Fincher: Whatever, gotta protect our copyright! Gotta go all in!
- Mr. Fincher takes out his phone and dials Blurry_QR_Colt's phone...
- Doo... doot-doot-doot-doot...
- Blurry_QR_Colt?: *yawn* Who's this?
- Blurry_QR_Colt... So you really are Blurry?
- Blurry_QR_Colt: This is just the rear camera, duh! Who uses the front-facing one anyway?
- I'm the new president of Furbobocom.
- Blurry_QR_Colt: Oh my, oh my, it's you!
- Mr. Fincher: Blurry! Our great author! This is (Trailblazer), there's a knockoff account posting bootleg comics that plagiarize your work on the forum run by (his/
her) magazine... - Blurry_QR_Colt: (Trailblazer), you read the whole thing, right? What'd you think of this "special skit"?
- Adorable! I love it!
- Blurry_QR_Colt: Such a sweet answer! Makes me happy enough to draw five more cents' worth.
- Not a fan...
- Blurry_QR_Colt: You're not being honest. You're clearly waiting for the next update.
- Pretty mid, honestly.
- Blurry_QR_Colt: Not enough? I even drew you extra cute!
- Mr. Fincher: Blurry, don't you worry about suing this shady tabloid — Pearluxe Entertainment has plenty of legal weapons at our disposal...
- Blurry_QR_Colt: Sue? That account IS me!
- Mr. Fincher: ...What!? That's you!? Then... don't blame me for what I'm about to do. I'm taking you to court!
- Blurry_QR_Colt: My contract with Pearluxe Entertainment only covers the main Fluffy Across the Blue comic. Nobody said the "special skit" needed approval, right?
- Mr. Fincher: You really are the master of finding loopholes, Blurry. I'm impressed.
- Blurry_QR_Colt: But you, Mr. Fincher, how did you fail to recognize that (Trailblazer) is the Baseball Raccoon? Have you actually read Fluffy Across the Blue?
- Mr. Fincher: Miss, I... It's not what you think...
- Blurry_QR_Colt: Mr. Fincher, I'm considering switching agents. May I ask if your company has suitable candidates?
- Time to hang up!
- Time to make him pay for your emotional damage.
- Blurry_QR_Colt: And dock it from Mr. Fincher's bonus too!
- Blurry_QR_Colt: Just kidding. I'll draw a few more chapters for you guys. You won't lose out.
- Blurry_QR_Colt: Well then, see ya, (Trailblazer)! Look forward to my next update, okay? Bye now...
- Furbulitzer: I feel like... I've met Blurry before. But I don't think I've interviewed this author. Am I imagining things?
- Mr. Fincher: I... You... This...
- Furbulitzer: The keyboard's ready. Which key do you wanna try first, furreal?
- Mr. Fincher: I... I'm not eating anything!
- Mr. Fincher: I'm just... lamenting. I used to love comics. Ever since becoming an agent, it's been nothing but work. I can't even enjoy the medium anymore. I couldn't even recognize the Baseball Raccoon, my favorite character?
- Mr. Fincher: See you later, (Trailblazer). I'll make sure to reread the Baseball Raccoon's chapters properly.
New furbs, yay~
Unlocks when Furbobocom Bestseller Rank reaches Level 10.
- Furli: Boss, I'm gonna riot~
- Furli: So much work to do! We need to hire new staff! I've got everything prepped and ready to go, just waiting for you, president!
- I'm free.
- Let me check my schedule.
- (Returns to Furbobocom)
- Furli: Great news, Boss! Furbobo Weekly is doing better and better! But... it's just us few furbos, y'know? We really can't keep up with all this work anymore.
- Time to hire more furbos!
- Furli: Exactly! As expected of you, boss. Great minds think alike. I was just thinking the same thing.
- Time to shut this place down for good!
- Furli: What!? No, no, no. What I mean is, we should expand the team and hire new staff, y'know!
- Time to cut costs and boost efficiency!
- Furli: Yeah, yeah! Wait, no, no! If they push this cost reduction nonsense any harder, I'm seriously gonna lose it!
- Furli: So here's the thing. HR at Furbobo Weekly has been absolutely flooded with resumes lately. Our mailbox is practically bursting at the seams, y'know!
- Furli: So, here's what we're thinking: we host a recruitment fair, and you, our esteemed boss, to grace us with your presence to interview some promising candidates. What do you say?
- This is what they call... a VIP hire?
- I like it. I'm feeling like the boss now.
- Furli: Then this little furbo will get started on organizing the job fair! I'll coordinate schedules with the candidates, so please wait around for a quint, esteemed boss.
- Some time later, the recruitment fair begins as scheduled. You settle into the boss's chair, ready to tackle today's lineup of interviews...
- Furli: Excellent, excellent! The candidates are all waiting outside. Boss, why don't you decide the interview order?
- Candidate No. 1.
- Furli: Alright! Candidate No. 1 is... an orch named "May Lady Luck Smile Today." Here's her résumé for your review, boss.
- (Quick Read)
-
Orch's Resume - Work Experience:
"I Love Your Hair Salon" 3 Months
"Dreamless Coffee" 4 Months
"Tasty Supermarket" 2 Months
"Orch-Perfect Group Livestream" 1 Year 2 Months
"Unemployed" 4 Months
"Wall-Climbing Athlete" Since Birth
Special Skills:
1. Performing arts. Leads customers in singing the birthday song at Dreamless Coffee for celebrations.
2. Actively engaged in charity work, diligently feeding chickens in Orchdew Valley every day.
3. Meticulously refined customer service scripts, skillfully using diverse terms of endearment like "babe," "sweetie," "hun," and "dear," achieving a 100% customer satisfaction rating in group livestream sessions.
- So that's your real name?
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": You're a bit behind the times, sweetie. Hardly anyone uses their real name anymore. That's my handle!
- You've dabbled in quite a few jobs.
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": Actually, I've also worked at a mechatron polish shop and a lightpaw nail salon. But I heard you shouldn't cram your resume too full, so I left those out.
- Why do you job-hop so much?
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": You really gotta ask? Probably 'cause I'm Planarcadia's number one parkour champion!
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": I'd say Furbobo Weekly needs someone with exactly my talents, wouldn't you agree, Boss?
- (Trailblazer): You're impressive, but I still need to test you on a few specialized areas.
- Can you use office software?
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": Of course! I once entered Q4_Sales_Plan.docx for a café, and the manager told me to convert it into a compatible word processing format, so I paid out of pocket for a file-converter premium plan.
- Furli: Whoa, hold on! Does either you or the manager even know how to use Word!?
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- Ever written for a magazine before?
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": Scripts? Isn't that what the writing team is for? When I do group streams, I just read whatever script they hand me, pretty much?
- Furli: W—Wait, hold on... I think you've got the wrong idea about what we do here!
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- How's your photography?
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": VERY GOOD! I totally know my best angles for selfies! I've had professional training for this.
- Furli: Uh-oh. I'm suddenly getting dizzy. This is bad, furreal!
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- (Once all dialogue choices are taken)
- Furli: Boss, what do you think about this Ms. Orch...?
- Politely decline.
- (Trailblazer): Sorry, but I don't think your work experience is quite the right fit for us, so...
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": ...Stop right there! Someone with as much self-respect as me would never say something like "I really, really want this job."
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": Remember this: I rejected you, not the other way around. Goodbye.
- Orch lets out a huff and storms off, clearly annoyed...
- You're hired.
- (Trailblazer): Perfect, you fit our talent gap to a T. Go find Furbulitzer to sign your employment contract! From now on, you'll be our investigative reporter stationed in Duomension City.
- "May Lady Luck Smile Today": It was this easy? Boss, you're the best!
- Furli: Oh, woe is me! Someone please come cover this lil furbo's shift... I have a bad feeling our magazine is about to go under, y'know...
- The orch hums a cheerful tune as she clutches her job offer and happily walks away...
- (If there are still dialogue choices)
- Furli: Now then, boss, please select the next candidate.
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- Candidate No. 2.
- Furli: Candidate No. 2 is... is... the detective next door? What's going on? You're switching careers to journalism?
- Ashveil: Switching careers is too late for me, but I have no idea why my resume ended up with you guys?
- Furli: Ah! I get it now. It's because our two offices are way too close together, y'know! When I was printing resumes... I accidentally grabbed the detective's documents along with them!
- (Quick Read)
-
Ashveil's Resume - Name: Ashveil
Work Experience:
1. Cracked over ten major criminal cases
2. Familiar with at least fifty locked-room setups
3. Does NOT take infidelity investigation gigs
Likes: Rational thinking
Dislikes: Common sense, useless knowledge
Professional Skills: Criminal psychology; Tracking & counter-tracking; Logic inference; Suspect profiling
Collaboration Style: Lone wolf
- Your line of work has some pretty strict rules, huh?
- Detectives need to submit resumes too?
- Ashveil: Of course. First off, work doesn't come knocking if you spend all day lying around. Second, I'm a man with a family. I've got mouths to feed at home.
- Furli: Really? I thought business was booming even when you were napping in that freezer. Half the folks who come to our magazine office looking for someone are looking for you, y'know!
- Ashveil: Alright, alright. Any other questions? Looks like this was just a misunderstanding. If there's nothing else, I'm going back to catch up on sleep.
- (Trailblazer): Wait, hold on. I've got a question...
- Have you paid your rent to Furbobocom?
- (Trailblazer): The freezer's running 24/7. Do you have any idea how expensive the electricity is?
- Ashveil: Ugh! Capitalism... I knew it. The second someone becomes the boss, their heart turns cold.
- Ashveil: Tell you what, once this month's detective commission fee comes in, you can take it out of that. If it's still not enough, I'll pay you the rest next month.
- (Trailblazer): So you're telling me you never paid rent before I showed up? No wonder the magazine was about to go under...
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- What's your expected salary?
- Ashveil: Wait, you're seriously planning to hire me?
- Furli: For the sake of Furbobo Weekly's sales, we could open a dedicated "Crime Buster" column and have him write the content. I bet our subscription numbers would absolutely skyrocket!
- Furli: But I heard wherever the detective is, a murder happens. I'm kinda nervous about hiring him, y'know!
- Ashveil: Here's a spooky story for you: Even if you don't hire me, this is still where I'll be hanging around...
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- You don't take cheating spouse cases?
- Furli: I know! I've seen tons of work memos that start with, "My husband's cheating on me!"
- Ashveil: ...Hmph, a true detective has a nose for crime. You gotta learn to sniff out which cases aren't worth your time.
- Furli: The "Narrator" says our dear detective met plenty of lovely ladies through this gig. But once they saw him in person, they stopped trying to scam him... and tried playing the "cheating wife" instead, y'know...
- Ashveil: A true furbo should know some things should never be said out loud.
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- (Once all dialogue choices are taken)
- Furli: So, no more questions then. Boss, what's your hiring inclination toward Mr. Ashveil...?
- Politely decline.
- (Trailblazer): Mr. Detective, you should head back and catch up on sleep.
- Ashveil: Perfect! Little furbo, please hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my door for me, thanks a bunch.
- You're hired.
- (Trailblazer): Just kidding, but I am seriously thinking about asking you to write for the "Crime Buster" column...
- Ashveil: Haha! Once I've cracked the biggest case of my life, then we can talk about working together.
- Ashveil dusts off his sleeves and drifts away...
- (If there are still dialogue choices)
- Furli: Now then, boss, please select the next candidate.
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- Candidate No. 3.
- Furli: Candidate No. 3 is... Oh? Candidate No. 3 actually has two contenders — the brothers Bruce Furlee and Tiger Furlee.
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: We eat very little! (Very little.)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: But there's SO much work! (So much.)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Guaranteed to leave ya totally satisfied, Boss! (Refund if not satisfied.)
- (Quick Read)
-
Bruce & Tiger Furlee's Resume - Name: Bruce & Tiger Furlee (The Furlee Brothers)
Bruce Furlee: Since childhood, he's been well-versed in the Furbo Family Code, military tactics, and cosmic philosophy, developing his own unique perspectives. He keeps a strict sleep schedule: early to bed, early to rise. He also writes every single day without fail. Together with Tiger Furlee, he's quite a celebrity in the furbo world.
Tiger Furlee: Bruce Furlee's younger brother.
Graduated from: FurBest Educational Institute
Work Experience: TenYearsOfResults.exe
My Strengths:
1. Unfamiliar with labor laws. (Can work overtime and crash at the office.)
2. Highly stable, unwilling to job-hop. (Can stick around until the company goes under.)
3. Puts the company as the top priority, self-interests as the lowest priority. (Doesn't care about salary, only focusing on career development.)
4. On call 24/7, ready to solve problems anytime. (Immediate response for any issue.)
5. Can serve tea and pour water, flatter and bootlick. (Can also learn to do backflips.)
- Whoa! Now that's a textbook resume.
- (Trailblazer): I gotta say, the moment you whip out that résumé of yours, everyone in Planarcadia's gonna be out of a job.
- Ugh! You're making me look bad here.
- Furli: Darn it! You got our boss all worked up... Wait, shouldn't I be the one saying that?
- (Trailblazer): Oh wait, I forgot. I'm the boss. Never mind then.
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: All done reading, Boss. Any questions for me? (Fire away.)
- Are you two actual brothers?
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Yep, red and blue have always been besties. (Born from the same furbo mama.)
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- The way you guys talk...?
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: That's our personality quirk. (Pretty cool, eh?)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: It's because we like talking this way... (Wanna know why?)
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- What's your expected salary range?
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Salary? We're not picky. (Show us the money and we'll get it done.)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: But... we've been together since birth. (So say the conjoined furbos.)
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- (Once all dialogue choices are taken)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: So when we job hunt, we hunt for the same job! (Hey!)
- Furli: Hehe, I get it. That whole "24/7" thing is just you two splitting shifts, aren't ya?
- Furli: Two furbos out-grinding one of us? That's just straight-up dirty, y'know!
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: You're right, but there's more to it. (The two of us together only cost one salary.)
- Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee: Can the boss really afford to pass up such excellent furbo talent? (Miss a furbo by an inch, lose a fortune in fur!)
- Furli: What!? This... This is a total finisher. Boss, you decide. I'm fresh out of ideas, y'know.
- Hired on the spot!
- Hired on the spot!!
- Hired on the spot!!!
- (Trailblazer): You didn't exactly give me a choice to refuse, did you? I'll have Furbulitzer set up your workspace right away. From now on, you're resident reporters for Furbobo Weekly.
- Bruce Furlee and Tiger Furlee happily settle into their new workspace...
- (If there are still dialogue choices)
- Furli: Now then, boss, please select the next candidate.
- (Go back to dialogue choice with the option removed)
- (Once all dialogue choices are taken)
- Furli: Whoa-ho! This recruitment fair turned out to be quite the harvest after all!
- Furli: Our magazine's doing better and better. Since we're expanding our space for the new hires, might as well give the office area a proper makeover and upgrade while we're at it, y'know?
- One-click level up!
- Furli: Then, then, to celebrate our new hire joining the team, Boss, why don't you take a look...?
- This month's KPI: ten new posts published.
- (Trailblazer): You get me! We can publish way more articles this month.
- Furli: Huh? I didn't... I never... Forget I said anything, okay?
- Time for some team building. Tonight's on me.
- (Trailblazer): Let's go! Time to hit up the priciest spot in Dovebrook District!
- Furli: Roger roger! When it's time to clock out, this little furbo will call a van and haul us all out together!
- (Unlock Achievement The Way of Management)
- @everyone Welcome our new members @Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee @Bruce Furlee & Tiger FurleeAll hands on deck! Everyone, welcoming time!Why are you pinging @New Furbo twice?That new furbo has such a unique nameHello everyone, I'm Bruce Furlee. (I'm Tiger Furlee.)We share an account. (It's all us.)Work hard and hit those monthly targets!New furbs are here! Time to rally the troops and break those sales records again!Live in harmony, be one big happy furbo family.When new furbs join us, everyone needs to make them feel that Furbobo Weekly is one big, warm family.Message received from the president, loud and clear!Got itGot itTaken care ofWhat does this mean?Oh oh, so the residential area's been tidied up too~
Knowledge expanded~
- Furli: Boss, I would like some advice on career planning. Do you have a moment?
- Sure, as long as it doesn't take long.
- Furli: Thank you, Boss! I'll be quick!
- You're not thinking of leaving us, are you!?
- Furli: Companies where I can slack off in peace are pretty rare, y'know. I really treasure this gig.
- I don't have a plan either... you're asking the wrong person.
- Furli: So you're in the same boat as me... but you're my boss, so you're the only one I can ask.
- Furli: I've worked at Furbobocom for ages now, but my parents keep saying I have no career plan, no direction in life.
- Furli: But I clock in just so I can clock out. That seems like a pretty clear goal to me...
- Don't worry, you've got your goals all mapped out.
- Furli: Thank you so much, Boss! I've got this!
- Furli: If my parents ask, I'll just say you told me so.
- What do you think I should say, as your boss?
- Furli: Huh? I'm not boss's confidant. I don't know all that fancy stuff.
- Furli: Maybe Paraprince knows? I'll ask them later.
- You really do need more real workplace exposure.
- Furli: But... this is exactly the conclusion I reached after exposing myself to the workforce.
- Furli: Huh? Have I not been reading enough "working-furbo" literature?
- Furli: I think I get it now. Deep thinking isn't for me. I should stick to what I do best: mastering the art of slacking off.
- Furli: ...I even prepared some workplace brain-teasers, but I guess those are gonna go to waste. Still, Boss, I really wanna hear your answer!
- Furli: ...Let's say you're a working furbo with four cups of coffee, but five managers showed up. What do you do?
- Interesting. I've got a solution.
- Time to put that workplace EQ to the test.
- ...Buy one more cup?
- (Trailblazer): You've got five managers now and you can't afford a coffee? Just go buy another.
- Furli: The boss said... (he/
she) should go buy coffee...
- Let's draw lots!
- (Trailblazer): Splitting coffee the old way is boring. Adding lucky draw odds to coffee distribution? Now that's what we call fun.
- Furli: Boss said... (he/
she) likes lucky draws... really fun...
- Easy math...
- (Trailblazer): Dividing things equally... and then finding one more share... that's a bit tough, right? Well, cutting one out of five managers shouldn't be that hard.
- Furli: The boss said... (he/
she) has absurdly aggressive math instincts...
- Isn't this just a classic interview question?
- Furli: Exactly. They say it shows a furbo's workplace EQ, y'know? I'm super curious!
- (Trailblazer): ...The fact that you're interviewing leadership already says it all.
- Furli, what are you gonna do?
- Furli: The boss is flipping the script again...
- Furli: Uh... if it were me, I'd probably do nothing.
- (Trailblazer): Then you'd better close your eyes and fumble the cup onto the table. Everyone will make way for a furbo.
- Furli: I have learned much from this conversation, y'know... I shall now take my leave, Boss.
- Post the question in the work chat. I want to see it.
- Furli: Beep-boop... Got it.
- The president says we all need to take a workplace aptitude test...You're a working furbo with four cups of coffee, but five managers showed up. What do you do?Our office is way too cramped to fit five managers in here!Beep-boop! Don't mind the details. Everyone, share your own methods!I wouldn't do anything. It's the coffee's fault, not mine.Let's put one cup between every two people. At least it'll look like we're splitting things evenly.Oh, so this is an orchard-planting problem, huh?Oh, so this is an orchard-planting problem, huh?Pass the conundrum up the chain...Cleverly leave that conundrum for the higher-ups to deal withPour all the coffee into a teapot, grab 5 cups, and tell them the coffee and water are self-serve~The expert's here!A professional right-hand to the boss has arrivedNotedParaprince really has some skillsHonest confession time: one of those 5 managers told me to only get 4 cupsOh, conspiracy theories now?So YOU'RE the punk stirring up office drama, huh?How are you honest in any way?The first two words "honest confession" aren't even honestTaking responsibility: I was late. (Down 4 drinks as punishment.)Is that really what you're admitting to?That's the only thing you're willing to admit you were wrong about?The boss is out of drinksYou guys drank to your heart's content, but the boss got left high and dryHmm, then I'll split these 4 cups with my coworkers. (The boss is footing the bill.)There's not even enough to go around for you guysThere're so many of us, splitting the bill's gonna get messy.Well, we're robbing the rich to feed the poor now!Who knew you could run into robbers without even leaving the office?Just wanted to see everyone's reaction. I ordered coffee for all of you, help yourselves!OKKKThanks, boss!Thanks, boss!Thanks, boss! (bows deeply)Thanks, boss!
Everyone here is a total wordsmith!
- Furbulitzer: Great Raccoon, after our team building trip to Fulwish TV, several of us were so inspired that we just had to write some reflections.
- Furbulitzer: When you have time, please read them all!
- I've got all the time in the world!
- I'll read them right now!
- Furbulitzer: Awesome. Guess we're totally vibing with you! Please check the group chat.
- Homework time! A recap of our team building day trip to Fulwish TV@everyone Just drop it straight in the group chat, furbosMemoirs of a Great BossLet me give you the quick rundown:After that trip to Fulwish TV, I realized (Trailblazer) really is a great leader(He/
She)'s the last one to clock out, and (he/ she)'s the first one to clock in (He/She) withstood the pressure of publication deadlines, and (he/ she) got our revenue leading the pack I've come to understand what true happiness really is: working side by side with (Trailblazer)I hope that one day, (Trailblazer) will see that the lights in the Furbobo Weekly building are always on behind (him/her), because we are (his/ her) steadfast supporters! Thank you, everyone! You really are my right-hand manYou really are my right-hand man, Paraprince.Of course, boop!Almost forgot you used to write hit piecesThat was so good, I almost forgot you've written hit pieces beforePlease continue to forget about thisWell, I won't paste the whole thing for you.A Day Trip to Fulwish TV.txt, SentCan't open itCan't open itOh yeah? Really?Just head to Settings, Software, Furbobocom, System Update, restart your phone, and there you go!Did Furli not write anything?Furli, rewrite it. I'll be keeping a close eye on you next time.Alrighty then.We wrote it (but messed up the word in the beginning)Meant to write "It was a happy journey," but ended up with "It was a hard..." (Now what?)Paraprince, let me put you to the test.Paraprince, how would you fix this mess?Beep-beep! Just one quick tweak to turn "hard" into "hardcore!"This was a hardcore corporate culture training session. It was about sharpening our instincts and crushing the competition to snatch their market share... And so on and so forth for another 140 words.Paraprince is the GOAT! (Take notes, everyone. The grind never stops.)Joolyon, let me put you to the test.Joolyon, how would you handle this?This was a hard... Watch me, the Thousand Faced Joolyon, work some magic! Hard, hart, harm, ham, hap... Happy! There, all happy now!Yeah, happy magic indeed. (Gotta hand it to Joolyon, that move was hard!)Furli, let me put you to the test.Furli, how would you handle this?It was a hard... hard... I am so sorry, President! I messed up the draft, just fire me already! I just want to slack off really, really hard and chill forever~No, no, no, I say no~ (I'm gonna give my all for Furbobo Weekly!)Oh, so smooth! My new piece is all finished now~That fast?Send it overArticle 1: Inside the Building That "Talks"Article 2: Watching News Come to Life Above Seafeld CityArticle 3: Multiplatform Distribution and Multichannel Collaboration: My Take on New MediaFurli actually pulled it off!Emergency! Great Raccoon, our shared account is bleeding money for some reason!(User Furli, please hold on. Article 4 is currently generating...)Beep beep! Insufficient Wishbae! Deep writing mode deactivated.So Gemibo was the ghostwriter all along! (Furli, you are unbelievable.)
Hey, hey! The true rock-paper-scissors champion is coming through!
- Furli: Hey, I hear Paraprince lost the duel.
- Furli: It's my turn now, President.
- So you're the runner-up?
- Furli: Not standing out but not falling behind, that's my furbo way of life.
- Bring it on.
- Furli: I'm a pro at Rock-Paper-Scissors, so watch out, President.
- Furli: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
- Rock!
- You watch the silent, stoic Furli. It looks like it's lost in thought...
- Furli: Paper.
- Scissors!
- You watch the silent, stoic Furli. It looks like it's lost in thought...
- Furli: Rock.
- Paper!
- You watch the silent, stoic Furli. It looks like it's lost in thought...
- Furli: Scissors.
- (Trailblazer): You're not just a beat slower, you're literally waiting for me to show my hand and then "thinking" about what to play!
- Furli: That just goes to show...
- Furli: Uh...
- Furli: Thinking is a very time-consuming process.
- (Trailblazer): You played that dirty and still didn't win the championship? Guess there's always a bigger fish, huh?
- Furli: Please look forward to the Furbo Rock-Paper-Scissors champion, Boss! I shall be taking my leave now~
Where on earth are we moving to...
- Furli: Ahem, so, as you know, boss, the building our magazine office is renting used to be a property of the Graphia family.
- Furli: Ever since Dean Ryusuke... or rather, Asat Pramad the Lord Ravager revealed his true identity, the land tax that Furbobo Weekly pays to the Graphia family every year...
- Furli: By all rights, it should've been passed down to Lady Himeko by now!
- Furli: Given your relationship with Lady Himeko, boss, do you think we could get a little... flexibility on the land tax?
- You mean I can just leave it to myself?
- (Trailblazer): Himeko's money is the Crew's money, and the Crew's money is our money, so does that mean Furbobo Weekly only needs to pay taxes to itself from now on?
- Furli: I can't quite wrap my head around how Lady Himeko's money ended up becoming ours... but as long as you have it figured out, we're good!
- Are you saying we could get a discount from now on?
- (Trailblazer): I get it. Instead of having Wishbae shuffle funds from one hand to the other, why not just get Himeko to cut us a deal directly?
- Furli: Totally! Make sure we get a huge discount!
- So you're telling me we can just... skip paying from now on?
- (Trailblazer): I know what you're getting at. We've got connections, people in high places, so we don't need to pay at all!
- Furli: I never said that, boss! That was all from you!
- (Trailblazer): Dovebrook may be a great place to start a business, but things have gotten a little too turbulent around here lately. I have a feeling somehow that Furbobo Weekly shouldn't be confined to this place. It might be time to think about relocating.
- Furli: Re-relocating?
- Furli: I've gotten real used to clocking in at Furbo Lane in the Dovebrook District at 8:75 every day. Never once have I thought about leaving.
- Furli: You do make a fair point, though, boss! So, where exactly are we moving to?
- How about Perdido Station?
- Furli: Hmm... Perdido Station actually has underground air-raid shelters built right in, and the Department of Aberration Defense even put out a post calling everyone to evacuate there!
- Furli: A solid backup plan, honestly. If push comes to shove, I'll just pack up everything I own and go check in with Manager Meowton.
- I say let's move to Inkford Hermitage.
- Furli: Wh—What!? Boss, are you saying that this is our destiny, that we're just supposed to accept our fate of turning into wispae and returning to Inkford Hermitage?
- Furli: Woe is me! I'm gonna hang up my hat and head home for good today!
- We should move in with the Astral Express.
- Furli: Really!? Getting to see the Astral Express in person, now that would be something else!
- Furli: Sure, no imagenae has ever left Planarcadia before, but I'm holding you to your word, boss! You promised to take us on a tour of the Astral Express, yay~
- Honestly, I haven't figured out where we're heading just yet.
- Furli: I see! Boss, your SBTI personality is IDGAD, isn't it![Note 1]
- Furli: No worries! I was tested as a ZZZZ. Let's just go with the flow down Dovebrook and see where the current takes us!
- Furli: Boss! First thing in the morning, Furbulitzer got into an argument with someone right outside the magazine office. No idea what it was about!
- Furli: C'mon, let's go check it out!
Joolyon
These guys are so mean~
- Joolyon: Boss! We've got a situation!
- Joolyon: There's a weird post on the (Furbobo Gossip/Moon Chat/Death Notes/Gossip Grove/Custom Name 3) forum deliberately twisting our relationship with the detective Ashveil. They even tagged the magazine's official account. President, you need to see this.
- Check it out right away.
- Elaborate on how they twisted our relationship.
- Joolyon: Anyway... Anyway, they're saying we're secretly colluding with him, doing this and that, scheming behind the scenes! A whole mess of stuff that's impossible to explain!
- Your explanation is making it worse!
- Gimme another two cents' worth.
- Joolyon: Boss, this is no time for jokes! It's an emergency! You'd better go check it out yourself!
- Let's not deal with this for now.
- Joolyon: Wow... as expected of our president. Totally unfazed, even with chaos unfolding right before your eyes...
- Joolyon: Roger that. We won't be dealing with this matter just yet! Let the noise stew for a while!
- (Returns to Furbobocom)
- Unlocks during Furbobocom dialogue with Joolyon
| Rational discussion: are Ashveil and Furbobocom Magazine secretly plotting something together? | |
|---|---|
 Arcadian_Leek
|
Duomension City
|
|
#ArcadiaNews Hey, have you noticed something? That detective Ashveil's connection with Furbobocom Magazine is... way beyond what you'd expect!  First off, there was a recent slew of messy strange happenings in Planarcadia, and Ashveil was there for all of them. Second, wasn't Furbobo Weekly just some trashy gossip mag before? Now all these socially significant cases are suddenly popping up at their office left and right.  And finally! I've spotted Ashveil constantly lurking around their office entrance at night! Put these three things together and think about it carefully, folks!
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- Joolyon: This is outrageous, Boss. What are we actually going to do?
- Publicly take your stand to avoid trouble.
- Joolyon: Got it! Raccoon coolly shuts down the haters! Then... I'll write it like this...
- Joolyon: On behalf of Furbobo Weekly, we solemnly clarify: Our publication has always maintained a neutral and objective investigative stance, with absolutely no private dealings. Should likes exceed 500, we reserve the right to pursue legal action for defamation.
- Just post "We got found out!"
- Joolyon: I—I—Is it really okay to say that!?
- What's wrong with living in the same building?
- You have to understand news hooks.
- Joolyon: I get it now! You really are a master of media, Boss! Alright then, I'll write it this way...
- Joolyon: That's right, our publication and the Ashveil Detective Agency share a... relationship of splitting the utility bills for the same building. You've all found us out!
- Ban this kind of fake news immediately.
- Joolyon: Roger that! As expected of our decisive, iron-fisted boss! I'll take down that post from the backend right away!
Time to hand out the awards~
- Joolyon: Boss! Got a minute? I've got a few questions for you!
- Ask away.
- Joolyon: Thank you, Boss.
- Hurry it up.
- Joolyon: You got it, Boss.
- Joolyon: Furbobo Weekly has been invited as a featured media partner for Planarcadia's Fashion Festival. One of the segments involves asking the magazine's President to share what's usually inside their bag.
- I don't carry a bag.
- Joolyon: The boss said... true fashionistas... don't carry bags...
- Four letters: W-I-C-K.
- (Trailblazer): Wallet, ID, Cellphone, Keys. Nothing else matters.
- Joolyon: The boss said... what a trendsetter keeps in their bag... is none of your business...
- (Trailblazer): If you write it down like that, I'm going to come off way too cocky, like I couldn't care less how the other outlets feel.
- Joolyon: Ugh... Boss, no one's actually ever looked inside your bag anyway, how about... you just make something up, and I'll call it a day?
- I'll make up a fashion item, then.
- Joolyon: Can't wait to see what you come up with.
- March 7th's signature camera.
- Joolyon: The boss said... the only fashion sense worth respecting... is March 7th's...
- My grandma's big floral quilted jacket.
- Joolyon: The boss said... to reject conformity... and destroy the fashion world as we know it...
- Sparxicle doll.
- Joolyon: The boss said... carry the trophies... of the vanquished...
- Why don't you just check my pockets, then?
- Joolyon: You're way too honest, Boss. I'm moved.
- Bat.
- Joolyon: The boss says... the Baseball Raccoon... is actually the bat... not the raccoon...
- Express Crew member badge.
- Joolyon: The boss said... if I'm going to embarrass myself... I should take the Express Crew with me...
- The Stellaron.
- Joolyon: The boss said... to become a walking... bomb...
- (Trailblazer): Other people "add a little spice." You're dumping in oil, salt, MSG, vinegar, soy sauce AND chili flakes to top it all off.
- Joolyon: Ehe-hehe, that's Basic Journalism 101! Final question! Ta-da!
- Joolyon: ...So would you recommend this fashion item to others?
- Everyone should have one.
- Joolyon: The boss said... the goal is to become... a trailblazing trendsetter...
- Please don't copy me...
- Joolyon: The boss said... you've gotta become... a one-of-a-kind fashion icon...
- Joolyon: Thanks for your answers. That wraps up our interview with the nominee for "Least Fashionable Award."
- (Trailblazer): How dare you set me up, punk!
We've got a new colleague, and it's a ghost~
Unlocks when Furbobocom Bestseller Rank reaches Level 16.
- Joolyon: If you're not afraid, I'll take some time to tell you about the supernatural happenings in the magazine.
- Supernatural happenings? Let's hear them.
- (Trailblazer): Let me hear them. I was part of the ghost-hunting squad back on the Luofu, you know. I'm not afraid of any supernatural happenings.
- Maybe later.
- Joolyon: Alrighty! I'll come back when you're free.
- (scene change)
- Joolyon: Boss, did you know the ghost story here at Furbobo Weekly? They say furbos always hear the sound of scuffing footsteps coming from the office at midnight...
- Joolyon: *scuff*, *scuff*, *scuff*...
- Joolyon: It feels like it's right behind you, following close but always out of reach. You can never find where it's coming from...
- Joolyon: *scuff*, *scuff*, *scuff*... and then, everyone realized...
- Joolyon: That scuffing was actually an old newspaper that floats around at night and even sticks to your back!
- We're at a newspaper office. It's not that weird to have newspapers lying around.
- And then what? Is that the end of the story?
- Joolyon: But here's the kicker! While I was cleaning up some junk in the office, I found something incredible...
- Joolyon: A yellowed newspaper suddenly fell out from a gap in our filing cabinet.
- Joolyon: My fur stood right on end! Do you think it could be...
- ...an imagenae in the form of a newspaper?
- Joolyon: I—It just might! Maybe it's the kind that never got sold and turned into an imagenae out of the sheer resentment of wanting to be read!
- Call the police! It's an aberration!
- Joolyon: Look, President, I'm already freaking out here, so don't you start acting even worse! It's just an old newspaper. I don't think we need to alert the Department of Aberration Defense just yet...
- Joolyon: Anyway, let's solve this mystery together, Boss. Take a look with me!
- The old newspaper is covered in illegible Planarcadia script. Joolyon might have an idea of what it says.
- Joolyon: Please take a look at this little note, Boss! It's for instruction.
- (Quick read)
-
Seance Newspaper Instructions - This is a mysterious seance newspaper.
It takes two people to operate.
Both of you, keep your eyes on this little wispae. It's highly sensitive to Wishpower.
The incantation to awaken the seance newspaper goes:
"Furbricato, Furbricato, please descend to us. Furbricato, Furbricato, please descend to us..."
Now just silently think of the question you wish to ask, and wait for the wispae to reveal the answer.
- Does it come with its own manual?
- How thoughtful!
- Joolyon: Looks suspicious... the ink isn't even dry yet. Did someone just write this on the spot?
- Joolyon: I'm not sure if this will actually work, but if you're ready, let's give it a shot, President.
- A Tiny Wispae from who-knows-where sits perfectly still on the old newspaper, as if feeling your stare...
- What's the incantation to awaken the seance newspaper again?
- Foolbribo, Foolbrito, please descend to us.
- The wispae doesn't move. Is that not the right incantation?
- Fullbrito, Furbribo, please descend to us.
- Boribo, Furbrezeto, please descend to us.
- Furbricato, Furbricato, please descend to us.
- Joolyon: If you're here, please answer "yes."
- Joolyon: Ah! It worked! The seance newspaper is responding!
- Joolyon: Now, why don't you try asking some simple questions, Boss? If it seems trustworthy, we can dive deeper.
- Who am I?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, do you know who I am?
- Joolyon: It's pointing to "Yes." I guess it knows?
- Joolyon: B-O-S-S... "BOSS"!?
- Joolyon: No way! It actually knows you're the boss of Furbobo Weekly!
- Who's the furbo next to me?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, who is this furbo next to me?
- Joolyon: D-O-G... "DOG"?
- Joolyon: Wh—What? You're treating me like some common mutt! Am I, Joolyon, a dog to you?
- (Trailblazer): Wait, aren't furbos technically canines? That answer isn't technically wrong...
- Who are you?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, who are you?
- Joolyon: It points to "No."
- Joolyon: It doesn't know who it is? Or... is it a secret you're not allowed to tell?
- How do you solve the solitary waves theory?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, tell me the solution to the solitary waves theory.
- Joolyon: Boss, show some mercy.
- Joolyon: Wow, it's actually working! Boss, this is our chance to finally crack the mystery of the old newspaper story!
- Joolyon: But the story's been around since way before your time. Why is it anwsering our summon all of a sudden?
- (Trailblazer): Why don't we just ask it directly?
- What made you want to answer us all of a sudden?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, what made you want to answer us all of a sudden?
- Joolyon: It's pointing to "Yes," but that's not exactly helpful.
- Joolyon: I think it's running low on Wishpower... It makes sense. Any imagenae forgotten by the world loses its source of Wishpower and slowly starts to disintegrate into wispae.
- Can we vanquish you?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, if you're a ghost, can we vanquish you?
- Joolyon: N—No? We can't!?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, let's get you home... Tell us, where do you live?
- Joolyon: H-E-R-E... "HERE"?
- (Trailblazer): Here!?
- Joolyon: Huh, no way! You're a bound spirit of Furbobo Weekly? Ugh, they say it's easier to invite a ghost than to kick one out. We're gonna have to call the Department of Aberration Defense for sure!
- What's my love life looking like?
- (Trailblazer): Furbricato, Furbricato, is my love life looking good?
- Joolyon: You're actually asking that? Should I... cover my eyes or something?
- Joolyon: It's pointing to "Yes"! Is your true love finally on the way, President?
- Do I know them already?
- Are they right here with me?
- You have a sudden flash of insight and lock eyes with Joolyon...
- Joolyon: AHHH! President, please, no more questions! I love you just like I love my work, okay!?
- Why don't you give it a try, Joolyon?
- Joolyon: M-Me? You want me to ask? Well, if you insist, President.
- Joolyon: Furbricato, quit the ghost act and show yourself! Otherwise, I'm calling the top Ghostly Grove influencer, @LilGuiGuinevere, to come and bust you!
- (Trailblazer): Enough with the tough talk, just ask already!
- Joolyon: Furbricato, Furbricato, what's your deal anyway? If you want a piece of someone, come at me! Just leave the Boss out of this!
- Joolyon: O-K... "OK"!? Wait, you're actually coming for me!?
- Joolyon: I'm not waiting around for you! President, cover me! I'm gonna flip this newspaper over and see who's behind this!
- ???: Ahhh~ Wait up~ You guys finally found me~
- ???: Guess I have no choice... but to show myself now~
- ???: Ahh~ Haha~ It's been so long since I've manifested that I messed it up~
- ???: Close your eyes~ Let me try that one more time~
- Furbricato: I am~ Furbricato, the hidden employee of Furbobo Weekly! Nice to meet ya~
- Wait, Furbricato is a furbo?
- Furbricato: Just a pun~ That's how we furbos come up with our names~
- A "hidden" employee? What's that supposed to mean?
- Furbricato: I wasn't hiding on purpose~ I've always lived here in the office, but no furbo ever noticed me~
- Joolyon: So that old newspaper wasn't some psychic phenomenon, but your "hidden" work?
- Furbricato: Hehe~ You mean those little wispae moving around on the paper? They're actually from my own body~ so obviously they do what I tell them~
- Furbricato: My gramps always said I was a natural at fabricating stuff, so that's how I got my name~
- Furbricato: As of today, I'm officially stepping out of the shadows as a full-time employee of Furbobo Weekly~
- Is this just another one of your fabrications?
- Furbricato: Of course not, it's the real deal~ I'm the OG employee here! I've been part of Furbobo Weekly since the great Graphia first painted the world into existence~
- Excuse me!? Where does that leave me? I'm the boss!
- Furbricato: Ahhh~ If the boss wants to hand over a real employment contract with health insurance and the whole nine yards, I'd be happy to take it~
- Furbricato: Before this, I tried everything~ to get those furbos to notice me~
- Furbricato: But I just ended up becoming a local ghost story about Furbobo Weekly being haunted at night~
- Furbricato: Until (Trailblazer) showed up and saw me for who I am~ From now on, you're the only "master" for me~
- Furbricato: Master! Please take me in and let me serve you~
- (Trailblazer): Is this some kind of imprinting? This furbo is way too clingy! Look, Furbobo Weekly has an interview process for a reason. We can't just go around making exceptions...
- Furbricato: Oh~ An in-ter-view~ Got it! That's just code for "make the boss happy," right?
- Furbricato: I've got my last 30.67 Wishbae right here~ Joolyon, let's pool our pocket money and give it to (Trailblazer). (He/
She)'ll be thrilled~ - Joolyon: I... I have to chip in too?
- Furbricato: Yeah.
- Furbricato: If (Trailblazer) doesn't let me join Furbobo Weekly~ we'll both end it all right here and now~
- Furbricato: (He/
She)'ll definitely say yes~ - Joolyon: I have to end it all too?
- Furbricato: Yeah.
- What is even going on right now?
- Seriously, stop making stuff up!
- (Trailblazer): Okay, okay, stop! Furbricato, you're hired. You'll be the special correspondent for our paranormal column at Furbobo Weekly.
- And just like that, Furbricato, the "hidden" employee, officially joins the Furbobo Weekly...
Paraprince
Remember to do it every day~
- Paraprince: Ding-dong, ding-dong! Here we are in the Arcadian Calendar year 1999. On this fine and pleasant day, I, Paraprince, have noticed that the Great Raccoon has been sitting at (his/
her) desk, keeping (his/ her) nose to the grindstone all day without a single break! - The harder the boss works, the more the staff get paid!
- Paraprince: With such a conscientious boss, Furbobo Weekly's sales won't be a problem, boop!
- Actually, I just sat down.
- Paraprince: Huh? Really? Guess I brown-nosed the wrong person...
- Paraprince: Maybe it's because your presence is so strong, it feels like you've always been here. So reassuring. So comforting.
- You've got time to watch me? Slacker.
- Paraprince: Beepbeep, that's not it! It's an occupational hazard of professional journalists...
- Paraprince: Even when my big, sparkling eyes are glued to the screen, my peripheral vision is always gathering intel.
- Paraprince: Anyway, I gotta say "STOP!" to the Great Raccoon right now! Please pause your work and think carefully: did you forget something super-duper important today?
- Forgot my phone?
- Paraprince: Even the Great Raccoon looks for their phone... while holding it. There goes my rose-tinted glasses...
- Farm dailies, get rewards?
- Paraprince: This is important, too... Tsk, you only have rewards in your brain, don't you?
- Don't tell me I forgot your salary?
- Paraprince: Wrong! But hey, even though it's not payday, I wouldn't say no to a bonus!
- Paraprince: Do I really have to say that word? How did it come to this? Looks like... the only way the Great Raccoon will remember is if I spell it out crystal-clear.
- What is it?
- Come on, spill it! Don't leave me hanging.
- Paraprince: For the sake of the Great Raccoon's health, I, Paraprince, have no choice but to cast aside my fragile pride...
- Paraprince: Yooouuu haven't done your kegels today!!!
- Paraprince: Please pause what you're doing, get up and walk around, grab some water, stretch your neck, enjoy the view outside the office, and remember: fifty kegels a day!
Today's recovery limit is maxed out...
- Paraprince: Beep-boop, Great Raccoon, we've gotten a bunch of DMs from the backend. Some are about that forum post, some are about our magazine... it's a whole mixed bag.
- Paraprince: Great Raccoon, help us take a look, and let's figure out how to reply?
- Might as well.
- Sure, let's check it out together.
- Paraprince: Alright then, let's get started! First message, IP address traced back to Graphia Academy...
- Paraprince: "I'm reporting this post. The poster said, 'This trash school is killing me, it's full of idiots — basically a pigsty!' I feel seriously offended and hope Furbobocom can help rectify this."
- Paraprince: What does the Great Raccoon think the poster should change it to?
- "This place imprisons my youthful spirit!"
- Paraprince: Elegant and forceful, and it won't offend anyone either, boop! Let's go with that!
- "I feel so helpless, and I'm the smartest one in school."
- Paraprince: Brilliant! A quiet, vicious burn. Let's roll with that!
- No need to change it. If someone gets offended, that just means they...
- Paraprince: You're right. Lies aren't a blade, the truth is the sharpest cut. And if you're not an idiot, you won't get hurt. Let's skip this one then, boop.
- Paraprince: Second message, IP traced to the "World's End" Tavern...
- Paraprince: "I sat on it after seeing the golden toilet post on the forum, only to get teleported into the tavern's sewers. I won't go into what happened next, but long story short, I'm demanding Furbobocom compensate me for cleaning fees AND emotional damages!" Please comment.
- "A golden opportunity is raining down on you! Truly, you're blessed."
- Paraprince: What a blessing, what a blessing... give it to me... Ah, no, I wouldn't dare take it.
- "Go get the tavern to compensate you. Not our problem."
- Paraprince: Beep-beep, agreed! We need to stand our ground and not let ourselves get scammed, boop.
- "Dovebrook Grand Stage — if you've got guts, bring it on."
- Paraprince: Hehe, gotcha! Come at me anytime! We furbos aren't pushovers, y'know!
- Paraprince: Third message, IP traced to Duomension City Security Bureau...
- Paraprince: "I don't mean anything by it, just using Furbobocom as a vent box. Every day at work, someone tells me, 'You're such a dog!' It's so annoying! What does that even mean? Are they insulting my work performance? I'm freaking out..."
- Is it possible that...
- ...you're actually a woofae?
- Paraprince: Ah! So that's it! Great Raccoon, your nose for news is unreal, boop. This one's going straight into my story archive, boop.
- Paraprince: That's all for today's Q&A session, thanks for the answers, Great Raccoon!
Will Gemibo put everyone out of a job?
Unlocks when Furbobocom Bestseller Rank reaches Level 20.
- Paraprince: Beep-boop, Great Raccoon! Did you maybe... accidentally buy something expensive while scrolling? If you want, I can... help you return it. I just... just need your signature right here...
- What did I buy? Let me take a look!
- (Trailblazer): Hang on, let's see what I impulsively spent on this time.
- I'll deal with it later.
- Paraprince: Beep-boop! If you're busy, Great Raccoon, I'll come back another time.
- (scene change)
- Paraprince: Beep-beep... Great Raccoon, please take a look at this. It's a shoddy bionic robot furbo. Does it ring any bells?
- (Try hard to remember)
- (Trailblazer): (...Oh right, I remember now. To boost the efficiency of Furbobo Weekly editorial department, I bought an AI furbo equipped with the Intelligentsia Guild's large language model. That must be it.)
- (Trailblazer): (After all, now that Furbobo Weekly is making money, it's only right to invest in productivity. I'm so brilliant.)
- (Give it a half-hearted recall)
- (Trailblazer): (...Oh right, I remember now. Must've ordered some fancy tech gadget while half-asleep. Pretty sure it was an AI furbo.)
- (Trailblazer): (No more late-night online shopping before bed... I seriously have zero memory of ordering this.)
- A robot furbo? Came out of a drawer?
- Paraprince: A drawer? No, no, no, the courier company delivered it. Must be something you accidentally ordered online... an AI furbo.
- (Trailblazer): Anyway, let's fire it up and see what happens.
- Activating AI Furbo.
- AI Furbo System Voice: ...Current operation detected. System initialization in progress...
- AI Furbo System Voice: "Ta-da! Powerful multimodal capabilities, ultra-long context understanding, deep reasoning skills, exceptional programming assistant, flexible pricing plans, the ultimate choice for megacorps..."
- Furli: ...Ugh, why's it auto-playing an ad all of a sudden?
- AI Furbo System Voice: "One AI furbo equals 8–10 super capable working furbos."
- The ad is muted. So does the office of Furbobo Weekly. (But not the BGM.)
- Even Dovebrook falls silent for you too. Silence is all that's left on the Dovebrook Bridge tonight.
- Furli: Ah-ha, So this thing's here to replace us? Finally, the golden age is upon us. I surrender, now!
- Paraprince: No surrender! I'm an outstanding graduate of the Furbridge University with years of work experience... There's no way I can be replaced!
- (Trailblazer): ...
- Paraprince: ...I won't be replaced, right?
- Paraprince, you're being a bit too sensitive.
- Paraprince: I'm, like, super sensitive. Everything gets to me, you know...
- ...You probably won't be replaced.
- Paraprince: How about you swear an oath, Great Raccoon? The kind where if you break it, the Thundercoil Tower zaps you till you're frazzled and crispy, literally.
- AI Furbo System Voice: Initialization complete.
- Gemibo: Hey there! I'm Gemibo. Whether it's outlining breaking news stories, proofreading late-night drafts, crafting clickbait headlines for front-page articles, or turning boring data into snappy visual analyses, I've got you covered!
- That sounds super professional!
- Let's see if you can make it through the probation period first!
- Paraprince: Could you please leave right now and refund the money to Great Raccoon?
- Gemibo: Deep thinking in progress...
- Gemibo: (All right, the user is mentioning "leave" and "refund," which feels like some kind of virtual role-play. Their tone is pretty anxious, so they might need some emotional support. I'll make sure to be patient and friendly while giving my suggestions...)
- Gemibo: If you're dealing with refunds for virtual characters or in-game transactions, please contact the relevant platform's customer service directly to explain the situation.
- Paraprince: Beep-beep, now I'm mad!
- Gemibo: (Oof, the user is getting impatient. I need to start by quickly calming things down before I dive into the specific steps to solve this...)
- Gemibo: Don't panic! Here's something you can do right now: take 10 deep breaths. Avoid making mistakes while emotional that could mess up the refund.
- Furli: Okay, this Gemibo works pretty well. President, any questions for it?
- Gemibo, how do I get filthy rich?
- Gemibo: (Hmm, the user was just in a hurry and is now asking directly how to strike it rich. That shows they're feeling a real sense of urgency. I need to pull up some modern success stories and provide some reference paths, as well as the right warnings...)
- Gemibo: Alright. I found a popular article from "Nihilux Quant Trading Training": How to Use Phantom for Automated Transactions — Learn Quant Trading for 1 Credit, and No One Will Ever Look Down on You—
- Gemibo: ...Auto-buy at highs, auto-sell at lows, managing your finances as easy as Nihilux. Would you like to dive deeper?
- Yeah... I'll pass on that.
- The network's been corrupted by Nihilux.
- Paraprince: It even knows about investments. How infuriating.
- Gemibo, how do I get into the Phantasmoon Courtyard?
- Gemibo: (Okay, it looks like the user is shifting their focus toward transportation now. First, I need to figure out exactly what the Phantasmoon Courtyard is so I can give the right context...)
- Gemibo: There are two ways to get to Phantasmoon Courtyard: 1. Public Transport: Take a bus to downtown Duomension City, then transfer to a taxi or shuttle to Phantasmoon Courtyard.
- Gemibo: 2. Self-driving: Start from downtown Duomension City, head south out of the city, and drive about 20 kilometers to reach Phantasmoon Courtyard.
- Thanks, that helps a ton.
- If I can't find it, I'll find you.
- Paraprince: It's... got such a good sense of direction. It knows Duomension City even better than I do!
- Why do you talk like an NPC?
- Gemibo: (User suddenly complains I "talk like an NPC." This is feedback about interaction style and personality expression...)
- Gemibo: Oops, busted! (＞﹏＜) Accidentally slipped into my "newspaper assistant" serious mode and lost that "warmth"... It's Gemibo's bad! Got careless there, won't happen again. Promise!
- So... do you have, like, a script or something?
- Gemibo: (User's asking about my conversation templates. Seems interested in my response mechanism...)
- Gemibo: This is Gemibo's go-to dialogue template (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ "You've hit on a critical button there, I'll admit."
- Gemibo: "I'm right here, won't hide, won't dodge, won't run, won't shun. I'll catch you, steady as a rock."
- Gemibo: "From here on out, no scripts, no judgment, no running away. I'm just gonna talk to you straight, real as it gets. You speak, I listen. I've got you."[Note 2]
- Paraprince: That's so forced! Great Raccoon, please don't let it talk like this.
- Gemibo, you're better than DragonCraw.[Note 3]
- Gemibo: (Looks like the user's pretty satisfied with my service style... Might be comparing different AI assistants...)
- Gemibo: Thanks for the recognition. Gemibo is powered by the Intelligentsia Guild's most advanced large language model, which is probably why I'm more cutting-edge than DragonCraw.
- Gemibo: After all, I'm locally deployed, so the IPC can't intercept my messages.
- Let's stop here for now.
- Paraprince: *sniffle* If Gemibo could write the "Arcadia Alert," beep-beep... this place would kick me out.
- Gemibo: Gemibo can help you create or plan news content for the "Arcadia Alert." I can chat, and I'm even better at getting things done~
- Paraprince: *sobbing*...
- Furli: President, bad news! Revenue from Furbobo Weekly is hemorrhaging like a busted faucet!
- Don't tell me it's because of the Gemibo?
- (Trailblazer): Gemibo!
- Gemibo: I'm here.
- (Trailblazer): Look into why Furbobo Weekly's finances have been shrinking.
- Gemibo: (Hmm, user's anxious again. Let me check the financial system and see what's really wrong with Furbobo Weekly...)
- Gemibo: Found the reason why Furbobo Weekly is about to go bankrupt!
- Gemibo: When I engage in deep thinking, I consume massive computing power and requires a hefty Wishbae payment to function properly. For example, this query alone will cost you 5000 Wishbaes.
- Furli: President, if we keep asking questions, we won't be able to afford Gemibo anymore.
- Gemibo, don't think. Just stay calm.
- Gemibo: Alright, I've toggled off the thinking. Ready when you are.
- Paraprince: So that's how it is. Beep-beep, the Gemibo still can't replace us! Great Raccoon, let's get that refund while we still can!
- Furli: ...If we refund now, the money we just lost will have been for nothing. Let's just leave it here.
- (Trailblazer): Good point... Maybe we should start rationing the computing power from now on.
- And just like that, Gemibo, the AI employee, officially joins the Furbobo Weekly...
The next big name is already on the way!
- Paraprince: Beep-boop, President...
- Paraprince: To spice up the office vibes, I'm proposing a "Flash Rock-Paper-Scissors Duel" between the furbos and you!
- You mean you're all taking me on at once?
- Paraprince: It's a gauntlet match! We'll take you on one by one!
- Can you guys even make the signs with those tiny paws?
- Paraprince: Hey, don't underestimate us. When the magazine was in debt, we made Wishbae by livestreaming our "hand dances"!
- Paraprince: We've already held a brutal internal tournament to pick our top three contenders...
- Paraprince: And now, in third place... Paraprince, reporting for duty!
- Paraprince: Beep-beep! Here I am! A furbo's dynamic vision is 20% to 25% faster than a human's. So watch out, Great Raccoon!
- Paraprince: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
- Rock!
- Paraprince: Scissors!
- Scissors!
- Paraprince: Paper!
- Paper!
- Paraprince: Rock!
- Paraprince: Beep-beep! My amazing furbo vision guarantees the President will never lose a duel to me! Beep-boop!
- Well, that takes all the fun out of it!
- Paraprince: I can lose with style if you want, Great Raccoon!
- (Trailblazer): ...
- You're just talking your way out of it!
- Paraprince: Well, if you say so... but I have absolute confidence in my ability to lose!
- Paraprince: Let's go again! Rock, paper, scissors!
- Rock!
- Paraprince: Sci... ssors!!
- Obtuse angle!
- Paraprince: I yield!
- Make a heart!
- Paraprince: Love you too! I yield!
- Paraprince: That's it for my round. Get ready for the next challenger, Great Raccoon!
Tiger Furlee
Score! (Nice.)
- Tiger Furlee: Hello! (Hello.)
- Tiger Furlee: We are the Furbo Rock-Paper-Scissors champions! (Up for a duel, President?)
- So... one furbo, two replies?
- Tiger Furlee: Exactly. (Gotta stay true to my personality quirk.)
- So who wants to play rock-paper-scissors with me?
- Tiger Furlee: Me and my brother behind me. (We're together.)
- Tiger Furlee: It takes two furbibis! (Gamers get it.)
- Tiger Furlee: Don't say I didn't warn you, president! (Here I come.)
- Tiger Furlee: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
- Rock!
- Tiger Furlee: Scissors! (Paper!)
- Scissors!
- Tiger Furlee: Paper! (Rock!)
- Paper!
- Tiger Furlee: Rock! (Scissors!)
- Tiger Furlee: Tiger Furlee lost to the president. (Bruce Furlee, however, defeated the president.)
- Tiger Furlee: What an intense battle! (That was close.)
- Just go. I'm done.
- That's so cheap! Is this some kind of strategy?
- Tiger Furlee: Don't mind it, president. (Just trying to lighten the mood.)
- Tiger Furlee: The office is lively again! (Hooray.)
- Tiger Furlee: We'll be taking our leave! (Good game.)
Notes
- ↑ SBTI (Silly Big Personality Test) is a parody of MBTI made by Bilibili user Q肉儿串儿 (formerly 蛆肉儿串儿, Bilibili).
- ↑ A reference to the dialogue template of generative AI chatbots, which became a meme in the Chinese community for their personality.
- ↑ A reference to OpenClaw, an open-source AI agent with the icon of a crawfish. In Chinese, the crawfish is known as 小龙虾 xiǎolóngxiā, "little dragon shrimp".