Master of Fates

I'm a Papu, and right now I'm freaking out big time. Just moments ago, I was one of a hundred unlucky saps randomly selected to become a "Master of Fates." By the end of today, any other Papu can take our lives, no questions asked, and face zero legal consequences.
Honestly, I have no idea what's so fun about this game, though I'll admit I enjoyed playing it myself in the past. Supposedly, the souls of "Masters of Fates" please Aha. I really want to tell THEM that I'm a person with absolutely zero sense of humor, not like my cubicle neighbor, whose puns always crack up the whole office. Take him instead, please.
I know thinking about this is pointless, but it's just a way to distract myself, because the banging and clanging outside is making my scalp crawl. Aeons know what kind of abuse that security door is enduring right now. I can only pray it holds out until midnight, or else I'll end up just like that door.