Self-Contemplating Scholar

Aha once said, the world works however I reckon it does. Don't let those phonies posing as scientists pull the wool over your eyes. They go on about gravity running the show. But I say if you just quit thinkin' about fallin', you ain't gonna fall. See? I'm floatin' just fine. They say a Perpetual Engine can't exist, but my UFO cobbled together from wood scraps and old tin is flying right here, ain't it? They say what I do isn't real science, but mere distortions of reality. But if you ask me, they're all spouting nonsense.
I'm gonna smash their garbage theories to bits and spread the truth so y'all know that time is a substance, coldness and heat are both particles. Every electron in the universe is one and the same, and matter can be generated out of thin air.
Folks, don't you dare blink, 'cause I'm about to contemplate the very framework that runs this universe.