Furbobo Web Portal/Arcadia Alert/Vol. 3

Quote: Furbobo Weekly digs deep! The mysteries lurking beneath the Phantasmoon. We're here to spill all the answers for you.

Hey everyone! A lot has happened, but thanks to the tireless efforts of our little furbos, Furbobo Weekly has met its deadline right on time!

Who could have guessed that the Bloodstained Games, which ended fifteen years ago, would cause such a massive uproar once again? Fulwish abused her position as TV station director to manipulate public opinion, nearly turning Planarcadia into a breeding ground for the Herald of Death. As fellow media professionals, we honestly feel ashamed for her. Thankfully, the Supplicants, united in solidarity, shattered her conspiracy at a crucial moment. I guess you could say all's well that ends well!

While we're all still catching our breath, your questions have already blown up the magazine's backend DMs. As usual, we've hand-picked the most frequently asked questions from the comments and invited a few highly anticipated superstars for an on-the-spot interview.

So, here comes the Furbobo Weekly Rapid-Fire Questions Time! Let's go!

Furli: Unfortunately that's our time guys. To all our Planarcadia readers, we'll see you next time! Furli out!

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Baseball Raccoon & March Bunny & Woof Woof Dan & Himekat & Mr. Yang: See you next time!

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Furli: Oh right, can't leave yet, got an announcement to make: We'll be selecting three top comments from our readers to win a Pearluxe Gaming Controller 7th Gen Flagship Edition "Stellaron Hunter: Silver Wolf" Most Wanted Collaboration version!
Dear readers, (taptapMobile/presspressController/clickclickKeyboard) "Contact Us" on our homepage and send in your submissions! Our motto: "If Planarcadia netizens can dream it up, Furbobo Weekly can dig it up!" Now I really am leaving!

The Wishpower rankings of the Masked Supplicants participating in the current phase of the "Phantasmoon Games" have been released again. Please show your support for the Boss!

First Place: Raccoon Mask ▲1
Supplicant: (Trailblazer)

Second Place: Cat Mask ▲1
Supplicant: Silver Wolf

Third Place: Octopus Mask ▼2
Supplicant: Shuhu (?)

Fourth Place: Crow Mask ▲2
Supplicant: Sunday

Fifth Place: Wolf Mask ▼1
Supplicant: La Mancha

Sixth Place: Fin Mask ▼1
Supplicant: ??? (Yet to be called)

Seventh Place: Rabbit Mask ▲0
Supplicant: Sparxie

?th Place: Fox Mask
Supplicant: ??? (Eliminated)

Quote: Spontaneous, autonomous, mutually beneficial — we are the Stellaron Hunters## Beneficiaries Alliance.

Truth hides on the other side of prejudice, and the best way to shatter stereotypes is to let the misunderstood speak for themselves.

Even so, we did not succeed in securing an exclusive interview with the Stellaron Hunters. (Although, if we'd actually succeeded, the IPC would be so...y'know?)
But along the way, our mic picked up audio from the Stellaron Hunters' other pursuers.

The following is the interview transcript compiled from those recordings.

"We did have some internal disagreements ... until that Lady showed up here."
"Walk Into The Trap Wearing Shackles? Are we idiots?
Quiet, stop, ██Brother is still here"

An eerie silence fell over the scene. (The recording was actually paused by force)
One system hour later,

"They ?? visited every single suit shop, ◆%▲█carefully picking out... high-tech fabric suits, collar linings that must be woven with heat-conducting optical fibers... rare materials with exceptional resistance to fire... even the extra buttons that Lady*bought were mother-of-pearl!"
"She's basically a #█?%▲█for fashion!"

The judges carried on chatting away, as if the Stellaron Hunters'██ tastes were ??fine by them. (Sounds like envy)

"The brotherhood will stand united against outsiders, we are now ◆%▲█more united than ever..."
"*hate them... rather *love each other."

For organizations composed of many small groups: ##Solidarity is strength. (Strength comes from people with mutual admiration.)

"That wasn't just an ##surrender worth 860 billion credits."
"That was a thorough ◆%▲█career development▲▽█masterclass!"
"30 bodyguards making millions a year didn't notice a thing... this#@█just normal, I recruited a ◆%▲█etiquette coach!"
"She must've said something... what did you pick up!? *digital distortion*This doesn't really have much to do with Kafka, I was doing it on the side."

The former auction curator, now career counselor, expressed ##admiration to reporters. (??so thrilled that they#?@█dancing.)

"Silver Wolf? All that ??cool graffiti is hers? Yeah. She's genuinely an ##artist at heart!"
"Nobody pays attention to what she's actually doing... that's the ##deadbeat philosophy *digital distortion*Take notes, little furbo."

The counselor added that when it comes to ##working, you should learn from the Stellaron Hunters██#7752ff. (Just be as ordinary as possible so??stay unemployed for life.)

Reflections on watching the Stellaron Hunters at ??work: The ??workplace isn't a battlefield: the ??workplace is a ██theater. (Meaning: The ##performance of doing work matters more than#█actually doing work, you see?)

"If I knew the receiver was going to be THE Silver Wolf of the Stellaron Hunters, I would've █% snatched up that delivery in a heartbeat."
"But their delivery addresses were basically set as all the trashcans in the cosmos, places for making shady deals... super sketchy."

If I'm remembering right, doesn't their boss also enjoy rummaging through trashcans? (Better not voice baseless associations out loud!)

"The stuff they order is so ##ordinary! Once I couldn't resist and opened a package... *digital distortion* Got reported and a bad review."
"It was a copy of Interstellar α?Wolf Slayer."

We sometimes play similar games in our company's team-building sessions (but Furbo-cession, of course)

"...I just don't get why the game cards have employee ID pictures on them. Did they buy a knock-off version?"

"There were also several rolls of bandages as thick as rope, with order notes saying 'For Fatal Injuries Only'... *digital distortion* Why would they need those?"
"Another box had polishing wax with: 'usable in open flames exceeding 3,000 degrees Celsius' written on it... Who on earth would use that?"

The courier and I found ourselves ##marveling at them.
The Stellaron Hunters really are a family that ##cherishes living— woah! Almost said that thing out loud. (That's how to be fulfilled.)

"If I dispatch another package to them, I'm going to be ◆%a model courier."

██#&...*Hacking document*

Borrowing some space on Arcadia Alert real quick
Yo~ it's me
Haven't been writing for a while, I'm rusty
The interview is full of typos and edits — props to anyone who made it this far
You're probably exhausted amiright?
Don't worry, not gonna play some ad that starts pushing some massager thingy on you. Let's talk about me instead:

I am 1st on the Cosmicon Collective leaderboard

Also, some people keep lying on my name online
Saying stuff like "Silver Wolf is not a pro-gamer, she just cheats"
I'm only gonna say this once:
I NEVER cheat when playing FAIR!. You and me are not the same, k?

A game is a game and that's all there is to it!

K bye I'm out

%█#Beneficiaries describe the "Stellaron Hunters" using nearly identical, template-like phrasing. (The stereotypical image of a##good-hearted).
Is this a collective cognitive awakening, or some higher-dimensional manipulation of public opinion? (Perhaps neither.)
The truth may be hidden on the flip side of all these statements. (Or maybe right on the front.)

In any case, due to the obviously emotional nature of the interviewees' accounts, the sources for this report are ##authentic and ? Already meet the basic requirements for journalistic accuracy.
Therefore, this draft ██will be published and ? Not filed away as discarded material.

We will continue to track the Stellaron Hunters...
And wait for that truly balanced interview opportunity when those at the center of public opinion can speak for themselves.

Quote: How to Build a High-Energy Constitution — Miss Evanescia's Exclusive Time Management Secrets Revealed! This article is perfect for: students prepping for exams, helicopter parents, and IPC employees dreaming of that P46 promotion.

Since the relaunch of Furbobo Weekly, we furbos have sent Miss Evanescia no fewer than twelve interview invitations, but the replies are always variations on the same soul-crushing theme: "Schedule's packed," "Next time for sure," "You can totally get me for the next Phantasmoon Games"...

Is Graphia Academy's workload really so intense that students can't spare time for one teeny-tiny interview!? This is the cradle of the imagenae — if students start creating vengeful spirits, we're in trouble!

We furbos refuse to sit idly by! We've been closely tracking Miss Evanescia's movements for a whole week. Just what kind of business keeps this elusive high school girl so occupied? Stay tuned to find out!

Monday @Graphia Academy
Investigative Journalist: Furbulitzer

Shocker! At four in the morning, Miss Evanescia was already at school! Good thing I skipped breakfast to stake out the place. Kept watch until eleven at night, when Miss Evanescia finally left school alone. Meanwhile, I caught three rounds of shut-eye in the freezing bushes by then.

Seems like Miss Evanescia prefers moving around when no one's watching. After my investigation, I think it might be one of those stealth competitions all the rage among students! There could be other burn-the-midnight-oil types lurking around campus. In layman's terms: it's a total rat race!

I was about to call it quits when, surprisingly, Miss Evanescia came struggling back to school, dragging a giant suitcase!

"Miss Evanescia, finally caught you!"
"Huh? Adorable Furbulitzer, you're here too? I thought Graphia Academy was empty..."
"Please tell me, is that suitcase full of... your study materials?"
"Study materials? Oh! Yes, of course! Very, very important 'study' materials, so keep it hush-hush, 'kay~?"

Miss Evanescia left, and I couldn't help but tear up! I absolutely won't tell the other students.

Nescia, with that kind of drive, you'll succeed at whatever you do!

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Tuesday @Some Underground Cram School in Dovebrook
Relay Reporter: Furli

To be honest, I was originally sent to investigate those "Quantum Speed Reading" courses that keep getting banned in Planarcadia but just won't stay banned!

But then! When I arrived at the investigation site, some mysterious cram school in Dovebrook, among all the waiting parents and diligent elementary schoolers, I spotted a pair of pink ears... It was Miss Evanescia!

Turns out Miss Evanescia nods off in class too, and when she gets drowsy her ears wiggle back and forth — so adorable, aw~

Wait, no! Almost got distracted by her cuteness. I'm here to investigate the "Quantum Speed Reading" courses!

"Well, well, Miss Evanescia, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, Furli! I'm here to learn 'Quantum Speed Reading,' of course!"
"Totally, is this the legendary 'instead of tiger-parenting your kids, tiger-parent yourself'? If only my parents had that kind of awareness... But wait, even you need 'Quantum Speed Reading'?"
"Of course! You have no idea how many books I have to read every day — three hundred copies of Interpersonal Relationship Studies, a hundred copies of Comic Structure Fundamentals, oh, there's so many, and I keep buying more new books, I just can't finish them all..."

Miss Evanescia's ears drooped down, and I couldn't help but tear up!

To protect Miss Evanescia from being attacked by the vengeful spirits of Aggressive Reading Material, I will give it everything I've got!

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Wednesday @Graphia Academy
Relay Reporter: Paraprince

Beep boop! No surprise here. Miss Evanescia spent the night at school again. She must've gotten swept up by her classmates again. I totally get that feeling, boop!

First thing this morning, she dashed out of school with a piece of toast in her mouth, just like a high school girl straight out of a comic book...
Except... except she was also carrying a massive backdrop painted with trees that's twice her height...

I, Paraprince, rubbed my eyes: It's an actual backdrop!?

"STOP! Miss Evanescia, wait up, boop!!"
"Oh... Whoa, sorry! This board blocked my view — I just saw you. Oh, Paraprince, it's you!"
"Miss Evanescia, you're just carrying around a hundred-pound backdrop like that!? Isn't it a bit heavy?"
"Mm-hmm! I'm headed to a really important exhibition, and it's time to put my recent studies to the test. I've gotta give it my all and take this seriously~ *fist pump!*"

I see... Compared to the mental weight of academic pressure, maybe a hundred-pound backdrop on her back is nothing. My heart goes out to her, boop!

But something feels off to me... Isn't today a school day? What kind of exhibition is this, boop?}

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Thursday @Furbobo Weekly HQ
Relay Reporter: Joolyon

Bolt from the blue! Boss came back after spending the whole day at the Star Rail FEST with Miss Evanescia.

So the exhibition that was supposed to test what she learned... was the Star Rail FEST!?

Holy furboly! So what she packed in her suitcase wasn't study materials at all, but merch and comic books!?

"Miss Evanescia, the massive haul of merch photos and cosplayer pics on your @EvanesciaCantAscendia account..."
"Oopsie~ Can't fool sharp little Joolyon, can I? I took them all at the Star Rail FEST~"
"And and and, the three hundred copies of Interpersonal Relationship Studies, and one hundred copies of Comic Structure Fundamentals..."
"Shh, they're actually three hundred fan fictions and one hundred comic books, keep it on the down-low, okay?"
"And this Baseball Raccoon pairing... this isn't just niche, it's downright cursed! Who even wrote this... mmph mmph mmph..."

Holy furboly! I think I just figured out the truth behind that "Quantum Speed Reading" course!

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Friday @Furbobo Weekly HQ
Relay Reporter: Gemibo

Upon receiving Furbulitzer's request, I immediately dove into researching Miss Evanescia's social media accounts. Time elapsed: 1 minute 30 seconds.
Findings: In a single day, Miss Evanescia posted reviews for 300 comic books, tagged 200 new series, published 20 ruler blade tutorials, and spent 8 hours critiquing A Retrospective of Planarcadia's Viral Memes from 1985–1999.

This level of online surfing intensity? It happens every. Single. Day.

From this research, I came to understand three things:
1. Miss Evanescia's absolute favorite is Fluffy Across the Blue — she's even collected every collector's edition;
2. Miss Evanescia definitely hasn't been taking school seriously;
3. Quantum speed-reading actually works.

Conclusion reached.

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Saturday @Duomension City Tourist Spots
Relay Reporters: Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee

It all makes sense now! (Crystal clear.)

There's no such thing as academic pressure here — this girl is no ordinary high school student. (Weekends off? Not in her vocabulary.)

In a single day, Miss Evanescia speedran all five major attractions at Planarcadia, with time management precision down to the second. (Poor us little furbos with our short legs — our paw pads are killing us after running around all day > < )

Still bursting with energy, Miss Evanescia fired off dozens of posts in one go. The most popular ones: From Banger to Buzzkill! Rating Planarcadia's Attractions, Hate Someone? Take Them Here — A Pure Suffering Travel Guide to Planarcadia, Fifteen Years Later: How Planarcadia Changed Beyond Recognition. (Too many to list.)

"Miss Evanescia, you seem especially interested in what happened over the past fifteen years? (Any secrets there?)"
"Secrets? Well, those are meant to be kept secret, silly~ Besides, you two little furbos have already dug up plenty of dirt on me, haven't you~"

Sunday @Furbobo Weekly HQ
Summary Reporter: Furbobo Press Corps

Woken up by the bickering between the bumbling detective and his assistant. It's already 2 PM on Sunday.

While Miss Evanescia's schedule is indeed jam-packed, it's completely different from the "suffering high schooler" script us furbs imagined. What a pleasant surprise!

Just as we were in a heated debate about the next story topic, Miss Evanescia knocked on the newspaper office door carrying two towering stacks of collector's edition Furbobo Weekly — taller than us furbs! She rattled off commentary on past highlights from Furbobo Weekly like a walking encyclopedia, gushing about how wonderful it is to have us furbobos around.

"Miss Evanescia, there's one more question... You seem to remember each of our names, but how do you tell us apart?"
"It's easy! Of course it's because from the very first issue, first section, first page of Furbobo Weekly, I've been your biggest fan!"

Agh! We've been critically hit by cuteness from Miss Evanescia yet again.

What a wonderful week this has been!