Furbobo Web Portal/Arcadia Alert/Vol. 4

A1:
March Bunny: Even if our opponent is a Lord Ravager, we've still got a shot at winning, right, Baseball Raccoon?

Baseball Raccoon: The Astral Express defeated Phantylia, and that counts as one victory. The Astral Express stopped Irontomb, and that counts as two victories. The Astral Express holds a record of two to zero against the Lord Ravagers, and that counts as three victories. The Astral Express has triumphed over the Lord Ravagers three times, so that counts as four victories...

Woof Woof Dan: If you continue calculating in that manner, we will end up with an infinite number of victories. However, we must remain cautious and handle the situation with care.

Baseball Raccoon: I will live up to the expectations of everyone. I'm going to use my bat to teach this uninvited guest who is destroying our arcadia a proper lesson. Everyone, please lend your Wishpower to me!

A2:
Baseball Raccoon: I was on a mission, not there to sightsee. I heard Graphia's soul is wandering around the place, so the hotel's haunted...

Mr. Yang: But seriously, did you meet Graphia there?

Baseball Raccoon: Yes! She's an incredibly talented artist. Never misses a deadline, never behind on commissions, makes revisions on the spot. Anyone in the industry knows how crazy impressive that is.

March Bunny: I'll admit she's super skilled at what she does, but the real question is, did she give you anything? Like an anti-Lord Ravager weapon? I'm dying to know!

Baseball Raccoon: Alchemical array that blankets over Planarcadia! Quantum tunnels across time and space! Cryptic journals hidden in the basement... Haha, she gave me none of those.

March Bunny: Haha, why even mention all that if you have none of them? You are not allowed to use the process of elimination to fool me!

A3:
@UltimateBladeCritic: Still alive.

Woof Woof Dan: Who the heck came up with that username for you?

@UltimateBladeCritic: @Leveling_Solo

March Bunny: No wonder it sounds so internet-savvy. Gotta hand it to the online legend @Leveling_Solo

@Leveling_Solo: I gave him three options, and he picked this one himself. For the record, the other two were "ICanStillDie" and "SavorParadiseWithBlade."

Woof Woof Dan: So, did you manage to sort out the Shuhu problem?

@UltimateBladeCritic: Pretty much. Justice will be served, and every debt will be paid in full. THEY are not going to survive this.

@DetectivePassingBy: Ever thought about becoming a Galaxy Ranger? Stable job, three meals covered, insurance from day one...

@Leveling_Solo: Maybe check the detective agency's bank balance first before you start trying to poach people, yeah?

A1:
Baseball Raccoon: @UltimateBladeCritic (Corrupted)

@UltimateBladeCritic: That's the color of metal after it's been quenched at high heat...

March Bunny: What does that mean? There's an old saying that goes, "To forge iron, one must be strong." Does that mean you literally forge yourself? That's way too harsh!

Woof Woof Dan: Or maybe it's his true wrathful form, revealed after he burned through all those old grudges.

A2:
Baseball Raccoon: She's in the World in Canvas, way outta the delivery zone. Fun fact: I'm totally within delivery range, though.

@Terror_in_Fog: Feels a bit fake. I'm not talking about sauced duck, I mean asking for addresses.

@Tidal Pearl Appraiser: Don't go poking your nose where it doesn't belong... Planarcadia's prison cells are pretty cramped. Not a pleasant stay.

@PhotoGraphia: Thanks for all the love, everyone, I like sauced duck, meow meow meow~

Baseball Raccoon: Hi, I'm sauced duck.

@Terror_in_Fog: This has to be fake. The two words "sauced duck" have completely shattered my impression of Lady Graphia.

@Leveling_Solo: Has nobody even questioned whether this @PhotoGraphia account is legit?

A1:
@Lil_Ol_Me: Hey hon. We only provide end-of-life care and grand funeral services here~ For team building trips or business partnerships, please contact Madam Pearl's assistant @Tidal Pearl Appraiser: Pearl The Wise~

March Bunny: So it's not that people don't want to come back from there, but that they *can't* come back... Who's been going around saying all this stuff?

Baseball Raccoon: An imagenae ancestor.

@Leveling_Solo: They've got ancestors packed in like sardines in a can.

March Bunny: ?

A2:
Baseball Raccoon: Get a mem headwear and you're guaranteed to stand out from the crowd... Plus you can never go wrong with "Loading."

@Sparxicle❤Unreal Banger: It's Sparkly Rabbit and Fire Shroom, of course~ So Sparxheads, come check out the livestream and grab yours!

@Leveling_Solo: Hey, @UltimateBladeCritic, those Wind n' Fire Wheels of yours look pretty sick too! Do you offer free shipping on them?

@UltimateBladeCritic: Nope.

A1:
Asat Pramad: When a junior's newspaper wants me as a guest, of course I have to show my support. Even if I'm just pretending, it's good to at least feign excitement... You are the very first newspaper in the entire universe to interview a Lord Ravager. What, no interview outline? No worries, I've already thought one up for you—

Does a Lord Ravager scroll through short videos after work? How does Nanook calculate employee KPIs? If you sprain your neck fighting the IPC, does it count as workplace injury? The Antimatter Legion's latest recruitment policies... ah, that's probably more Archforger's department, I shouldn't overstep.

A2:
Asat Pramad: This? It's a half-price seafood hotpot from the supermarket. Been so swamped lately that I don't have the time to cook. So with this, I just microwave it and that's dinner ready.

A3:
Asat Pramad: So... that's the thing. The business trips are constant. Last time we were hustled to Amphoreus to welcome some new hire who didn't even stick around for probation and immediately switched jobs. Does that even make sense?

Every time I get back to Planarcadia, there's a ton of work waiting for me at the academy. But I can't leave, I depend on Graphia Academy's medical insurance for my tendonitis treatment. Now that I think about it, neither Akivili nor Nanook ever gave me any kind of insurance. Maybe being stingy is just something all Aeons have in common.

Furbulitzer: Boohoooo... I feel you, the former President also milked our labor! We're all wage slaves in this world. Our lives are even more bitter than wormwood weeds.

A4:
Furli: Could you elaborate on which Overlord is best suited for slackers—

Paraprince: Beep-boop, you're so lazy, Furli. No Overlord's gonna want you, boop.

Furbulitzer: Also, how did this turn into you interviewing us!?

A5:
Asat Pramad: No rush... Setup's all done, I'm just killing time with you guys before the show starts. It's alright if you can't think of questions. Why don't we chat about everyday life? Hobbies, interests, that kind of thing? Got any consoles around here? Wanna play a round?

A6:
Asat Pramad: Tendonitis.

A7:
Asat Pramad: Easy, I just take it off before bed and everything's fine, no? Wanna learn? I can teach you.

Furbos: No, no, that won't be necessary.

A8:
Asat Pramad: Hah, you've really stumped me with that one, kiddo. When you've lived as long as I have, narrowing it down is no easy feat.

The open-faced cheese pie from Syracuse-III — even the most discerning Fool would keep coming back for more. I knew a chef there with extraordinary skill. Half of what I know in the kitchen, I learned from him. Then there's the meteor cake from the Ogul ring. The baker, Kashe, is a gentle soul. Chatting with her always reminds me of Dolly.

The seafood noodles at the Kraken tavern are my favorite in all of Planarcadia. The owner of Kraken was also one of the first friends I made after returning to Ahatopia. Oh, and Duomension City used to have this little snack shop — their family recipe produced treats nearly indistinguishable from the desserts of ancient Benzaitengoku. My daughter and I loved them. Sadly, the owner's son was killed by a Herald of Death, and no one was left to carry on his craft. He and I were close. During the holidays, he'd send sweets to the office, and I'd always bring him back a little something in return.

A9:
Asat Pramad: ...Is there any contradiction between the two?

A10:
Asat Pramad: No need to worry. My gym membership for the year has already expired. Although, getting insurance might be difficult with Graphia Academy gone...

A11:
Asat Pramad: For me personally, getting promoted to Overlord doesn't really change my hobbies. In my downtime, I still read, game, take walks... yeah. But most of my colleagues are pretty shut in. Can you even imagine Zephyro kicked back in an ergonomic chair, cradling a cup of Immortal's Delight? Only Celenova and Phantylia sometimes play a bit of chess together, have tea parties, things like that.

Paraprince: Beep boop, so even Lord Ravagers can be a bit girly huh? So do they chat about how to destroy the world over tea?

Asat Pramad: No. Because I just made that up.

A12:
Asat Pramad: Fluffy Across the Blue, 100 Facts About Akivili, The Falcon Saga, The Cosmic Slacker's Compendium, Father-Daughter Relationship Repair Manual, Postpartum Care for Voidrangers. I even picked up a Phantylia-inspired novel at Star Rail FEST and sent copies to all my colleagues. Everyone rejected the package except Luxbane.

Oh... Looks like it's nearly time.

Furli: We're all so glad you made it out of the painting! So, Blade... what's your favorite noodle flavor?

Blade: Any's fine.

Furli: Any flavors you don't like?

Blade: None.

Furli: o_o ...

Furli: Okay! Well! I'll just have to adopt the process of elimination! Tomato or pork bone broth?

Blade: Both are fine.

Furli: Seafood or curry?

Blade: ...Both are fine.

Furli: Inferno spicy or conscience-clear broth?

Blade: ...Inferno spicy.

Paraprince: Beep-boop, don't worry, I'll dig up useful! Question: Out of the Seven Arbiter-Generals, who do you like the most?

Blade: ...

Paraprince: I came prepared, you can't dodge this one. Huaiyan or Feixiao?

Blade: Huaiyan.

Paraprince: Huaiyan or Yao Guang?

Blade: Huaiyan.

Paraprince: Huaiyan or Jing Yuan?

Blade: ...Huaiyan.

Paraprince: Jing Yuan or Yao Guang?

Blade: Huaiyan.

Paraprince: Beep, beep, beep, what? Four wins for General Huaiyan? Something doesn't seem right here...

Furbricato: Hehehehe~~ Here I come~~ I heard you've already been to Planarcadia~~ to resolve something from the past~~

Furbricato: So~! Now that the matter is settled~~ Who's next~~ Who are you gonna target?

Blade: ...?

Furbricato: What a frightening gaze! To clarify on that question~~

Furbricato: With that matter settled~~ Who's next~~ on your hit list?

Blade: Hmph. A dead furbo that knows no fear?

Blade: Who's on the hit list? It could be anyone... including "you."

Furbricato: Aaaahhh~~ Help!!!

Gemibo: Question: Blade, why do you rarely post online?

Gemibo: After deep contemplation, Gemibo has compiled a few possibilities. Please select: 1. You enjoy lurking. 2. You don't know how to use a smartphone. 3. Silver Wolf broke into all your accounts. 4. Other reasons.

Blade: Number Four.

Gemibo: The user has selected "4," so there's definitely more to this story. Let's dig deeper: What is the reason?

Blade: I don't like posting online.

Gemibo: The user mentioned a dislike. This is a critical data point. Analysis: The recommendation algorithm factors in both likes and dislikes. When users curate their feed with "dislikes," it creates an echo chamber that allows them to reverse-engineer their actual preferences—

Gemibo: Gemibo completely understands. You might also like Now a Stellaron Hunter, He Can Never Forget the Melancholy Eyes of His Former Mentor, as well as If I Put a Hit Out on Myself, Will Blade Come Knocking at Midnight? So Excited, I'm DYING to Find Out... and other related content...

Gemibo: Fiddlesticks! The user just pulled out the Shard Sword! The user is really mad now. Sorry folks, Q&A session's over.

Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee:Since wanted criminals get full-color headshots. (And the headshots need to be clear, unobstructed, with a natural expression... why didn't the IPC just take you during the photo shoot?)

Blade: ...

Blade: Silver Wolf took the photos. She's the one who sent them to the IPC.

Bruce Furlee & Tiger Furlee:Really? Really? (Don't play with me, I might actually believe you!)

Furblix: I'm here with a question: Do you like sleeping in the nude?

Blade: ?

Furblix: I'm just worried about how long it will take you to remove your bandages at night...

Furblix: Because you clearly have more bandages now after you came back from Inkford Hermitage!! So, do you have to take them off before bed or not and if you do then you have to re-wrap them all again the next morning which sounds like a total pain just thinking about it and I'm super curious so please please tell me

Blade: Fine. I don't remove them...

Blade: Because "Blade keeps it real."

Blade: Why aren't you laughing?

Furblix: Trying hard not to.

Furbulitzer: I've got a serious question! Some people are saying the Aeon of Destruction Nanook is actually Blade in disguise—

Furbulitzer: There are three reasons: One, Lord Ravager Asat Pramad is in Planarcadia, and Blade is also in Planarcadia. However, Blade has never appeared at the same time as Asat Pramad, which suggests Asat Pramad is avoiding the Aeon's claws...

Blade: ?

Furbulitzer: Two, the Xianzhou had an Overlord named Zulo, who was slain by a Galaxy Ranger, and Blade and La Mancha, the leader of the Galaxy Rangers, are old friends. Apart from Nanook instructing La Mancha to eliminate the corrupt officials surrounding the ruler, there's no other explanation for why Nanook showed no reaction when Zulo was executed...

Blade: ?

Furbulitzer: Three, am I the only one who thinks Blade and Nanook look exactly alike? Both of them have broken arms wrapped up in bandages. And I repeat: Blade and Nanook have never been seen in the same place at the same time, proving that Blade IS Nanook...

Furbulitzer: If I may be so bold, I'd like to ask why does your dharmakāya have dark skin and white hair?

Blade: It's hard to explain.

Blade: You could understand it as a manifestation of wrath, which becomes visible when things get heated. Like right now.

Furbulitzer: Woah! That's blazing hot! It's not that serious! No need for a live demo, my mistake...