Furbobo Web Portal/Arcadia Alert/Vol. 6

Paraprince: Huh?

Furblix: Huh? Weren't we supposed to ring the bell for our IPO?

Baseball Raccoon: You see, it's my employees who give me confidence. Class dismissed!

Baseball Raccoon: Then, sneak it past Lodestar Tower security and bring it to the IPC's top brass... well, the fake top brass meeting, anyway.

Baseball Raccoon: After that, step onto the stage and shout, "Attention, everyone, eyes on me!"

@BroMeanie: Yep.

Baseball Raccoon: ?

March Bunny: Hello??? Don't just agree to all that! Every step is correct, but you're missing the whole point!

@Cloud-Piercing Spear: The real question is: What's making this user resort to threats?

Baseball Raccoon: Spot on! As they say, "Desperate times make for desperate raccoons"! In other words, don't go trying to pull something like this at home, kids!

March Bunny: Oh, and dear fans! Don't just keep your eyes on The Fluffy and Star Rail FEST! Show some love for the future of Planarcadia too!

@Tidal Pearl Appraiser: Rest assured, Planarcadia has restored its connection with the outside world. Pearluxe Corp will also continue working hard to make Star Rail FEST an annual tradition, every single year, without fail.

Baseball Raccoon: For real, Madam CEO?

@Tidal Pearl Appraiser: Prediction: Send a few more employees to squeeze content out of Miss Colt. Problem solved.

@HD_Bar_Colt: Anyone gonna speak up for me?

March Bunny: Don't tell me he was... tied up and stuffed in there...

Baseball Raccoon: Don't tell me... he even got plucked bald...

March Bunny: Oh my gosh! Poor Mr. Owlbert!

Owlbert: Whatever mental images you're conjuring up about "How Owlbert Was Humiliated," stop it right this instant! And stop imagining "How Owlbert Killed His Anxieties and Fell In Love with Being Tied Up" right this instant too!

March Bunny: Mr. Owlbert... that oddly specific description from you is worse...

March Bunny: I mean, sure, but after we went our separate ways at Seaside Park, we stopped keeping in touch with them (headscratch.jpg)

@DetectivePassingBy: Shh! A true detective never exposes their whereabouts so easily.

@GuidingBeaconsOfPreservation: Your question has been received! Astropolis Honorary Security Officer Lighthouse will be keeping a close eye on these two.

@DetectivePassingBy: How do you even parse this? What of Preservation?

Baseball Raccoon: ...

@Cloud-Piercing Spear: ...

@DetectivePassingBy: Can you guys stop spamming ellipses!?

@AberrationsWillBeArrested: I'm filing a request with Madam Pearl right now: Is it too late to swap partners for this operation?

Owlbert: Hoot hoot hoot! That's me, Owlbert! My show's just THAT popular!

Sundove: Mm... yes, every bit of it was my own doing. After I left Penacony, I boarded the Express, became a Supplicant in Planarcadia, and risked my life as a cosmic fugitive in coming to Astropolis, all so that one day I could be on my little sister's Keeping Up With Star Rail.

March Bunny:


No way, really!?

Baseball Raccoon:


No way, really!?

@GreatFortune_at_the_table: Didn't see that coming... You've been playing it real close to the chest, huh?

Sundove:

I've been brushing up on my dry humor. Did nobody find that funny?

Baseball Raccoon: Let me say a few words in Miss Colt's defense. I totally get that feeling. It's like when you haven't checked your bank account in a while, and you've completely lost track of just how deep in debt you are.

@HD_Bar_Colt: Heh heh heh, hitting a little close to home, are we? Sounds like you know a thing or two about being in debt...

Baseball Raccoon: Speaking of which, I do have a question: Where has all the money Miss Colt made from drawing comics gone over the years?

@HD_Bar_Colt: Truth be told, all my income gets deposited into my bankbook in the form of Wishpower. But every so often, there's a... significant Wishpower expenditure, if you know what I mean...

March Bunny: Oh, I think I get it! So Miss Colt's bank account has never actually gone above than the poverty line?

Baseball Raccoon: I think I see it now... You never learned a single thing from Louis Fleming, did you?

@HD_Bar_Colt: Haha, hush, you two. Leave me a little dignity, please...

March Bunny: Isn't Ms. Yabuli basically a brain in a jar at this point? Laser beauty treatments... I don't even wanna know what that would look like!

@MrRatite: Are you saying Taravan is any easier to imagine?

@OneAndOnlyKennethArita: Bro, where did you dig up that wild tale?

@OneAndOnlyKennethArita: Send me a copy, will ya?

@Sparxicle ♥ LOLOLOL: Whoa, bold move! Is everyone in Astropolis posting under their real names?

Baseball Raccoon: Finally found someone who gets you, huh?

@Arita Security Corps: Open up! This is the Arita Security Corps! Nobody move!

@Arita Security Corps: Sorry! Didn't realize you were here, boss! I'll see myself out!

March Bunny: Skott! I can't believe how sweet you look without those shades on! It's hard to even connect you to the same man who was doing pig impressions! Y—You better stay alive, you hear me?

@Cloud-Piercing Spear: Don't forget to file a workers' comp claim with the IPC. They owe you that much.

Baseball Raccoon: It's my turn now? Well then...

Baseball Raccoon: I did say the funny guy is untouchable! Welcome back, Skott!

@100day4P45: Thank you, top dogs.

@100day4P45: So it turns out ghost tears taste salty when they reach your lips too. Learned something new today, I guess...

Robin: I'll have a glass of purified water, thank you.

(Trailblazer): Back when we were at the Upside-Down Restaurant, you ordered purified water too. Not a fan of drinks?

Robin: *laughs* Oh, it's not like that. If I said I didn't like drinks, Miss Siobhan would never let me set foot in the Dreamjolt Hostelry again~

(Trailblazer): So... are you trying to protect your voice?

Robin: Yep~ Ms. Halliday taught me that. Stick to purified water during work hours. A professional musician has to have discipline.

(Trailblazer): *cries* Does talking to me count as work too?

Robin: *laughs* So it wasn't about work after all? Well, little furbo, now I'm out of a job. What am I supposed to do?

Furbulitzer: President, please take your work seriously!

Robin: Well, in that case, I'm kinda curious what Miss Himeko's coffee tastes like...

(Trailblazer) & Furbulitzer: *shock* No, you don't!

Robin: Huh?

(Trailblazer): If you want to protect your voice, don't even try it! That's the self-discipline of a professional musician, and you'd do well to keep that in mind!

Robin: Alright then!

Furbulitzer: Anyway, that's one glass of purified water for Miss Robin, and one Vinegar Kelp Cold Brew for President...

(Trailblazer): This Vinegar Kelp Cold Brew smells like grandpa's armpit! Someone HELP me!

(Trailblazer): It was nothing, really... I just strummed a little.

Furbulitzer: ...So, is that really the case?

(Trailblazer): *laughs* I'm just telling it like it is.

Robin: Actually, I'd already been working on a new song before "Starflux" even began, and I hit a complete wall. That's when I ran into (Trailblazer), and I asked (him/her) to play a bit for me. And then, bam, all of a sudden, it just clicked.

(Trailblazer): Did all of it get used in the end? I can't even remember what I played anymore...

Robin: I worked them in for sure... Don't second-guess yourself. You really are the composer of Only by Chasing the Wind. You're being far too modest as a professional, (Trailblazer).

(Trailblazer): I heard you're working on a new song. So, have you hit any blocks lately?

Robin: Hmm... depending on whether "someone wants to join as a co-composer," maybe there's a chance we could... you know, hit a block? *winks*

(Trailblazer): Wow! Figured out that fast, huh?

Everyone: *laughter*

Robin: That's right~ The "Summer Songbirds" band! The bass player Bessie, the drummer Drummie, the pad player Paddie, and me, vocalist Robin~

(Trailblazer): I'm not really a music person, so I have to ask: What made you want to start a band anyway?

Robin: Forming a band is my way of rediscovering myself — the me who loves rock music, the me who loves electronic, the me who loves jazz... and all of them can come back to that original spark, that pure feeling for music, through "Summer Songbirds."

(Trailblazer): A—Actually, I've always wanted to start a band too! I can do anything, I swear!

Robin: No way... Is this some kind of band meme?

Everyone: *laughter*

Robin: But if you're asking for my advice... since you claim you can do anything, I'd say we can start with five hours of daily practice.

(Trailblazer): Huh...? This is way too much work! I—I quit!

Robin: *laughs* Just how much courage did it take for you to say "I've always wanted to start a band" with a straight face?

Everyone: *laughter*

(Trailblazer): A cosmic superstar! Actually... the Express has been playing Miss Robin's albums on repeat, so I've been a huge fan of yours for a while now.

Robin: Let me think... At first glance, (Trailblazer) seems like the cool, collected type, but once you actually get to know (him/her), (he/she)'s a total blast to be around.

(Trailblazer): *laughs* You're saying I'm not interesting enough at first glance? Then let me write "interesting" on my face right away! Now where's my pen?

Robin: Please don't...

Furbulitzer: Ahem, ahem, word on the street is... and I'm just saying what I heard, okay, that you two took your friendship to a whole new level during your time in Astropolis. Care to spill the details?

Robin: Yeah, we did.

(Trailblazer): *panic* W—Wait, did we?

Robin: We started from nothing and fought our way up together, taking down that Ratite who made our lives miserable, and now we're comrades-in-arms!

(Trailblazer): So that's what that means! The moment you said "comrades-in-arms," I swear I could feel my boarding pass glowing even brighter on my chest. *stands tall and proud*

(Trailblazer): ...Furbulitzer, are you sure my own magazine should be publishing dirt on me?

Furbulitzer: President, our gossip rag is all about dishing out harmless little bits of "dirt" to keep our readers happy.

(Trailblazer): Hehe, alright then, allow me to drop a little bombshell! When I mentioned writing "interesting" on my face earlier, it was Miss Robin who handed me the pen! Take a good look, everyone... this little birdie is way more scheming than you'd think...

Everyone: *laughter*

Furbulitzer: Wow! So, Miss Robin, when you said "please don't" just now, what you actually meant was...

Robin: Oh right, what I was trying to say was "please, don't mention it."

\Everyone: *laughter*

Robin: Now it's my turn to spill the dirt. After (Trailblazer) got hold of the pen, (he/she) sneaked over and wrote something on your tail, Furbulitzer. Would you look at this raccoon?

Furbulitzer: Fur real... President!? How could you do that?

Aventurine:
Easy there. What's inside might be a little... intense for you. You might wanna take it slow.

Aventurine:
Relax. They're just everyday items kept right where they're easiest to grab.

Aventurine:
Aside from taking work calls without a hitch, these headphones are a lifesaver when I'm constantly traveling, great for noise cancellation, playing some white noise to help me sleep, you name it. Occasionally, I'll head to the shooting range for a few rounds, and they double as ear protection too. Honestly, they're an incredible value for money.

Furblix:
So it's a truly value-packed 3-in-1 headset! Mind sharing the brand and price?

Aventurine:
Come closer, little furbo. I'll tell you...

Furblix:
I can't believe headphones this expensive actually exist good thing furbo ears are built differently so I'm not even gonna think about it and dear readers I'd recommend not to think about it either.

Aventurine:
"Iron Shades"? When a person is composed enough and doesn't go out of their way to bump into others, gravity tends to cut them a little slack.

Furblix:
You really didn't bump into anything?

Aventurine:
Just kidding~ It's because they're expensive enough to justify good ergonomics. Furbos have such round, big heads, and the shades really do wonders for the shape. I was going to recommend this pair to you, but sadly, they're not quite built for the furbo head.

Furblix:
No sunscreen in your bag huh does that mean if you took off that open-chested deep-V sheer top and those board shorts we'd actually see a pretty obvious tan line underneath?

Aventurine:
Well, not at all. When a person is at ease enough to enjoy a sunny holiday, even the UV ray knows to play nice.

Aventurine:
Know my perfume that well, do you? Been snooping through your president's social media?

Furblix:
Don't you underestimate the gossip game of us little tabloids Director Aventurine~

Aventurine:
The sea breeze in Astropolis is so thick with moisture. Kinda makes me miss the desert air back home. This "Sands of Liquid Gold" has a faintly spicy amber and woody note to it. Call it a trivial little case of homesickness, I suppose. Not everyone grows up by the ocean, after all.

Aventurine:
They are all real key cards. Hm, don't know who started spreading it around, but apparently, word got out that I'm impossibly picky about my sleep quality. Next thing I know, every luxury hotel brand in Astropolis is lining up, begging me to do VIP suite trial reviews for them. Well, it's a vacation either way, so I figured I might as well give them all a try.

Furblix:
These suites must be so comfy that I could doze off the second my head hits the pillow after sleeping in so many beds what's your top recommendation, Director Aventurine?

Aventurine:
Nothing beats my own bed at home.

Aventurine:
Haha~ No worries. This bottle of hand sanitizer isn't for hygiene. It's for dealing with "probability."

Furblix:
Oh? What kind of usage is that?

Aventurine:
When vacationing in Astropolis, I simply have to sit down at the card tables. But when your luck runs too hot, people stop wanting to play with you... A Xianzhou acquaintance tipped me off to this folk remedy, that is, "washing your hands to rinse off the good luck." However, having to go to the restroom every time is such a hassle. This little thing is way more convenient.

Furblix:
So you wash your hands to make your own luck WORSE!? I'm going back to tell the President to return all the hand sanitizers in the office our luck is already terrible as it is UGH and here I was wondering why I always lose to my coworkers at cards wait they use this hand sanitizer too.

Aventurine:
This is the "Note of Life." The more names you write in it, the longer you live.

Furblix:
Really!? In that case I'm gonna go absolutely wild writing Furblix Furblix Furblix Furblix Furblix Furblix!

Aventurine:
I'm just messing with you. It's my signature practice book. Never really worked on my penmanship before, and my colleagues kept ribbing me that signing so stiffly, letter by letter, got me detected as AI-signed by the IPC's AI. Easy to forge, too. But I'd say I've gotten pretty good at it by now...

Furblix:
Then why do you still carry it around?

Aventurine:
Practicing penmanship makes you feel surprisingly relaxing. It's like a deep-tissue massage for your prefrontal cortex. You should give it a try sometime.

Aventurine:
And that's exactly what makes "Lucky Chip" so lucky.

Furblix:
So like... okay this might be a bit shameless of me to say but hear me out is there any chance you could spare one for me?

Aventurine:
Why not~ Though what's the fun if I just hand it over like that?
I can only let you take one personal item with you. You get to choose what it is, but I have a feeling you'll give up this chip~

Furblix:
No way that is happening!

Aventurine:
You haven't taken a single photo since the interview started. Take a look at what I've got here. Don't these perfectly match the theme of your interview?

Furblix:
How is it that your candid shots align so perfectly with mine and the more I look the more familiar they seem it's like spotting my own lost child out in the wild...

Aventurine:
So, you can only take one thing. What's it gonna be?

Furblix:
Aww, you're so sweet I'll gladly take that photo then. Though I have to say those usually-sparkly eyes of yours are looking a little chilly right now anyway that's a wrap on today's interview thank you so much, director goodbye, director hope you have a wonderful holiday!